Sunday, 28 December 2025

Saying something like that to someone like me

When we parted he shook my hand again,
third time, and said:
- Don't let your smile trip you up
and off we went in different directions

What a friendly fellow but what did wait a minute what
did that mean
- Don't let your smile trip you up

Is there something wrong with my teeth
you shouldn't say something like that to someone like me
do I have a resting bitch face

Come on now calm down
he's just an exuberant self-styled eccentric
probably says that to everyone, it's just
one of his trademark quips 'Oh Jezza is such a card,
always has a wacky comment'

Well I don't need your
wacky comments mister
even if you are the friendliest man
I've met all year

Sunday, 21 December 2025

Limon

             paint a
        lemon inside your
  vibrant bitter heart every
homemade lemonade brings
forth golden treasure standing
like a lemon is easy peasy but
  be mindful of acid reflux
    a hybrid of harbours
       and cathedrals the
           colour of cracked
             lobster joints

Sunday, 14 December 2025

Laughing Mary

God is my bride, with
The Lord [his Son] by my side
yes he's giving me away
on my magical wedding day

And if you don't like it
sure just say you don't
He'll set the dawgs on you;
I'll be sat in the kitchen

Saturday, 13 December 2025

Starts here ends there

Little birds see thro window,
snow outside, small yellow
birb pink chest infiltrates
air filter birb
lilbirds seen thru widow

See quick take pics never believe
a such a thing as example
one size of cow,
rare expanding bird
friend take notes

One key thing I'm wearing all
white as unofficial statement of purity

Lot of sex talk going down, people are
signing up for the new status reveal profile
a premium feature, of which we have
no need, a priori

*nods knowingly* 

Just get us the new sex name
I said you should call yourself Cameron Common
yes I joked that was my line
*whispers*

Why though, people are sew confusing

Meanwhile, the birds all three of them

Thursday, 11 December 2025

Pommelers Rest Conflation

Near Tower Bridge tonight
memory drawn back a decade to a furious stomp
back to the underground with Helly O
Bob Dylan variations/ revelations in my ears
we both assumed a proximity but
it wasn't ever that comfortable
being with her, walking with her
so full of opinions and unpredictable outbursts, she
was never exactly happy in or among my or any-
one else's company - something I can sympathise with

And yet how could I have been listening to music, viz
The Bootleg Series Vol. 12: The Cutting Edge 1965–1966
at the same time as I walked with her
must be mixing it up with a different visit to the same venue
I must be tangled up, and so the years
merge, and the memories
can't be trusted yet
the people remain singular and

The music remains immaculate even if it
wasn't the final version, and even
if we're still working on our own
perfect take forever


It's nearly all over now, any final thoughts

Look in all honesty Michael it's been awful
but there were a few moments that shone out
like when we returned to her Hackney tower block
after some mini Victoria Park festival
where we bumped into Ian Beard, star of another chapter
who introduced us to his loopy vegan companion
and who was forgive me insanely mad hippy hot
and where also do forgive me, I bought a kalimba (thumb piano)
the day was giddy with possibility

Something was smoked and we retired to the bedroom
13 or 14 floors high, this detail feels important
'Put some music on the radio if you like, it's digital'
I tuned in to Chill FM, free of
DJ chatter, ads, news etc and in a
break with their regular playlist the sonar
plinks of Pink Floyd's Echoes
began, and so we began and
by the time the song had ended
so had we I swear I wasn't timing it
and I'd like to nominate that as one of
the few moments worth living for
in this pathetic excuse for a life

<<applause>>

Not now

Knock knock can I come in, no

Five minutes later
what about now can I come in, no

Five ten twenty years later
can I come in now,
    what do you think, no

Can I get an explanation
    don't you remember
    you've had one

Right, but when can I come in though
    didn't you understand anything
it appears not, no
    you are not part of us,
    you are not welcome here

Monday, 8 December 2025

Every

Vaughan I've ever known has been gay
that's just a fact not an opinion
not a reflection, just -

There was
the Vaughan who was a friend
of the Welsh girls
they treated him like a pet or
a younger sister, I can see the appeal
he stayed in
my room more than once

The Vaughan foaf
who joked around the pub
in the glory years, hanging
on the corner with
cocaine Phil
and keyshop Pat

The Vaughan who
was a sweetheart and
whose legs fell off
finally committed 'conscious
suicide', everything went wrong
with him, that Vaughan 

And there is a fourth Vaughan
who fits the profile
but there has been a request for
some delicate privacy here
so go away, go away now

Give Me Back Me Brain

We saw this on a teenage sleepover
I had a nagging
feeling I was being
merely tolerated, but

You loved this song, said
oh yes you did oh yes you did
he was the future

Our tastes were wild, skewed,
obscurely sourced and only
rarely aligned

You were way ahead of me but
you loved the way I talked, the times
I wasn't tongue-tied

And I just found out you died
not sure how but it was
years ago during 2020 Covid

I saw you on my doorstep
suddenly six feet four and
ready to lead the country




Duffo


Knew was bust

From day one, never invested in
a personality, what would be the pubt
excu(se) me point of that
mudfucker, what

Never paid into the shared pension plan
of gross humanity, healthy
returns expected over decades
although, you're on your last legs

They slammed and slammed
that heavy front door
you did not respond
sign say signifier
from the pram prehistoric

What would be the point of hauling
over verlhauling anon overcat
try to make sense of a personality
the minor inconvenience of which
assume to possess, gross impertinence

Impersonality - I would personally
pull the trigger, blessed bang bang
among the day you walked into
Edinburgh, 15 mins of lump heed

Days, oh there were days
& some say if only you'd
tried just a little bit harder

Monday, 1 December 2025

Fundamentel

What are we living for
what can we expect from tomorrow
insert list of delightful and amusing things here
we carry on why do we carry on
what else is there left to do
list of unthinkable tasks here

Strip away the home comforts, the mad parade
the physical pleasantries
tomorrow will rise
even if you won't

PPE

maybe hey
guys maybe no listen up
maybe all politics
can be reduced
to this: never
give anyone
power

or at least, like
too much, like
power
I guess

Saturday, 29 November 2025

Through art they are born

Want to join a(n) humunculus club
find a group who will embrace me
maybe try out paracelsus.net
maybe learn to spell homunculus
correctly for a start, okay

Look all I want
all I've ever wanted is
to find my people, my little people

Miniature constructs
with the ability to foresee the future
carry out some light admin
and spying missions
cast a harmless spell or two

Not trying to enslave the world
just find some fellow
neuroanatomical enthusiasts
no bunny pervs, no string-
dancing Geppetto creeps

Keep it pure, back to the old ways
putrefaction in a horse's womb
the dedicated harvesting of sperm cells
classic alchemy before the
TikTok generation ruined it

I'll find me some devoted
collaborators, soon I'll call them friends
show up ready with a glass container
and some intimacy biscuits

Tuesday, 25 November 2025

I think I bust a button on my trousers, I hope they don't fall down

Sure I put my trousers on
yes I think I put my pants on too

Certainly can't complain, even if I am (don't say it)
guilty of all related charges, and so what

For a 50 years now I've
put and pulled my trousers on, and
offtimes with a belt
steady on, sounds a bit raunchy now

Sir do you know I have
unashamedly Put My Trousers On
in Crystal Palace, Highbury & Islington
Euston, Kilburn and Paris

You step in you step out
You step in you step out
You step in you step out
You step in you step out

I have yanked them on
and ripped them right off again
I'm talking about my famous trousers
mis pantalones legendarios

I've done it in Nottingham, done it in Norwich
really no need to go through this twice
I've done it in Manchester, see also Mansfield
don't say nothing that's my advice

Sir, I have to ask
- have you been drinking?
- and where exactly are 
  these famous trousers?

Trigger Down

It was a sore affair
you killed our horse & called
it collateral damage

But you freed us hostages
unfairly known as
the Cigarette Gang
in the smokescreen chaos

Now I'm at this here party
with these fancy boys, silk sleeves
and rowing club haught
trying to blend, trying
to forget about the farm

Saturday, 22 November 2025

Spelling Bee

With its seven letters always poses
more of a challenge than Connections
or Wordle; and Sudoku as we have established
can politely do one

Anyway, mother advised  me that today's
pangram word was OUTHOUSED

Wrong letters, and it's
not a real word I countered, 'just
fucking play it son', she squawked

In an uncharacteristic outburst
'you know words arenyt the same hier
bustin my noggin trying to talk sense to ya'

- excuse me

'In this realm, I've tellt before
but ye never listen know, just
liek you never did befour'

- I haven't

'Also its tomorrows answer thass
why don' fit, told ya time
don' work the same hier too'

Jigidi Jogon

On my run glanced down
on my run
I go running now
75 if I'm a day
saw a lone jigsaw piece
on the path, a
piece of the pie,
on the path

Maybe next time around I'll pick up
that piece of the pie, on
the path, maybe it's the missing
piece of the
puzzle; the under- or over-
oxygenated brain, which

Always comes up with
solutions

Wednesday, 19 November 2025

Slow Sunday

Trying not to talk too fast

Suggestion of slowness or
concerning tortoises

Encouraged to think of escapism
and the spaces you go to relax,
to unwind

In my room, which is also
a good place to hide
and pretend to be working

I am planning trips
to the beach
to the heath

And it's a perfect opportunity
to play this...

Always bring a gun

Look at me and my choppers
look at me and my knives
I'm a chef baby that's my excuse

Gonna chop you up man
gonna slice you up sucker
there ain't nothing you can

Monday, 17 November 2025

Call it RDJTV

Curtain parts, a living landscape
from early morning to late night
Rio de Janeiro Posto 4

We played 'She was a showgirl' in
addition to my less popular
Spotify MPB selections

Supermarket fruit platters
cocktails on the roof, we was
exactly pie-eyed two years ago

O que aconteceu

Bus stop incident

Exhausted, late for an appointment
necking a limited edition
Fuji Apple & Ginger Red Bull
and hovering near a bus stop, maybe
I should just walk

'Hey man, you're not from here man'

FFS no he's not talking to me

'No I am Japan'

'Yeah man, Japan man, not local I can tell
say why you not on your bike like me

'See you man, with your round belly, be
much better off on a bicycle, like I man you know
I cycle everywhere, start
pedalling lose
my fat old belly
feel the fitness in my legs you see
strong muscle, invigoration with
the best diet, the active man lifestyle you see me'

Citymapper says 1 min, come on

'Listen up, all of you bredren
want to be cycling, not
waiting for the bus with your round shoulder
give up attitude, ya need to get real man'

I can't fault him as I toss the can away
and pull out a Snickers bar

Here's the W3, I'm reviving
and going to
make it

Big brass bed

We all ended up on his yacht
in the south of France, yes yacht
yes south of France

I was just 17 but he shook my hand like an equal
'Delighted to meet you. Please call me Arthur'

Drinks were made for all of us kids and adults alike
'Put a tape on, Fiona! Oh I love this one'

I recognised Nashville Skyline and he noted my smile
'Oh you like Dylan, lad. He's my man, he's the best,
saw him in Manchester back in 66'

'Fiona, you look gorgeous tonight love,
doesn't she look beautiful everyone'

Tracey rolled her eyes at me, she
found Arthur 'a repulsive creep' her words not mine
and her mother 'a fucking slag' again her words
for hooking up with him

The brothers started playing cards, that
was always their thing, they knew
every game invented and some
yet to be invented

Arthur was knocking back the whiskey
'You know boys, when I first saw Fiona
laying there on the beach I thought, no
I knew she was the one, and I just went over
and laid down on top of her - '

'Please Arthur, not in front -'

'And I said Hiya gal you're lovely,
you're my lady now, and I were about 40 then'

Tracey shook her head and went up on deck
as Dylan sang about a country pie

Sunday, 16 November 2025

Twitching

Rumbled awake to a street hubbub
boss man is idling in the Kia again
pulling on the fruitiest of vapes

Three no four of them along the wall
energy drinks and bruv bruv chat
constant mobile consultations

Weasel face #2 hands down
his grey tracky bottoms, you'd be
the first one to crack son

Lights on, engine on, window open
unwritten rule only one ever permitted
to sit in car

Sandwich on the wall whose wall my wall
chatty new boy peanut
head through window not invited to sit

Shifty lad #3 heads round the back, as I
retreat to the bedroom pos,
providing vital surveillance -

***Nothing to see here***

Saturday, 15 November 2025

Dans une zone rurale non identifiée

oh moira ahm oan the skag
  gissa cig gissa fag
   how's yer ma, how's yer granpaw
      his plates in the sink

it wis fun in the beginning
    tryin tae feel someth        
        tryin tae feel nothing

handmade bloodtat reads SF4C
Silver Foil 4eva Crew
--cigarette light clicks--

oh moira ahm lookin for-
    ward to ma early grave

his prostate's haemorrhaging
make nan a cup of tea and
    stop picking your spots

we do enjoy some harp-
                           sichord chamber music while
                     we shoot up of an
                afternoon, it lends
          an air of sophisticat

  one night drunk and distressed she 
  drove mother's car as fast as she could
  down a narrow country lane
  with the headlights off 
  it was exhilarating, I didn't care

            today for a changeup
       we'll drop an eckie and 
     sit in the park, see if
any colour appears

grey grey electric grey
powder, sky every day
sink into my platitude

punch another wall
    stroke my hair
       <contemplative piano music>
    sunken cheeks



The Death of Chatterton


Tuesday, 11 November 2025

Leaders of the Band

It took place in the pre-rock and roll era
not quite the Glenn Miller Story but the one
featuring Gene Krupa going berserk
as I recall, as one might say
someone should keep a record

A single engined plane disappeared over the English Channel
and she took off on her tricycle
not tricycle bicycle with
stabilisers get it right
mum didn't notice for ages
the boy was transfixed also half asleep
waiting for the punk rocker call
also, athletics from Crystal Palace

Dad as always was absent with his hobbies
she took off as fast her as two chubby legs
and three or would it be four
wheels could take her, all

The way to Tudor Gardens which
as it happens aha haha aha ha
can't say that any more
isn't all that far away as the crow cycles

Until some nosy old couple
aka good neighbours asked if
she was lost by which time
mum had noticed, the house was aflap
Gene Krupa could batter himself a new one

A search party was despatched - 'She
can't have gone far, get out on your
bike and look for her!'

I like a mission and took my task
very seriously. By the time
I returned an hour later
so had she
and now it was my turn -
'Where the hell have you been!'

She insisted she wasn't running away
she'd just got bored
we all got bored in the suburbs
accidental punk rockers every one

Monday, 10 November 2025

limerence, as a kind of illness

limerence, to me is the
obsessive romantic or non-
romantic attraction to
the idea of someone who is unavailable
inherently, an
all-consuming fantasy of someone
that you become addicted to

suddenly there's this aura around someone
that feels like it's the answer
to all the problems and pain in your life

it isn't even necessarily to do with that person but
it can be more the longing
for something impossible
as a way to escape the possibility of real rejection
and real pain, think of it as protecting
your heart by chasing after something

that could never really hurt you
but recreating the pain
that you experienced
constantly by
reliving
your own abandonment
wounds

so it's a journey through the process of
limerence as a kind of illness
and a mental state


https://www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/m002lf1r

Monday, 3 November 2025

Jan Christian Smuts ≠ complex legacy

Jan Smuts
former Prime Minister of South Africa
Jan Smuts
warrior-statesman-philosopher-scholar

Field Marshal Jan Christian Smuts
has a bronze statue in Parliament Square
Field Marshal Jan Christian Smuts
his violent suppression of domestic uprisings
Field Marshal Jan Christian Smuts
his adherence to segregationist policies
Field Marshal Jan Christian Smuts
white supremacist
Field Marshal Jan Christian Smuts
employed paternalist rhetoric

Smuts
opposed racial equality
Smuts
hypocrisy on the world stage
Smuts
international statesman
Smuts
helped establish the League of Nations and the United Nations

Specific, local

We took a trip to Kruviat Rock
the excuse me fucking
glorious majesty of it
rising, rising, rising
and the mad love we made
that night
riding and bubbling on
our own velvet landscape

Strangely
now we are back home
in England's
Novemberish gloom
we cannot find any
record, any mention
of Kruviat Rock
in any country, any continent

My Wild West Gang

big man big gun big heart
that's me in a nutshell

healin's my callin'
shootin's my insurance

guns run dry
my spear don't

rock don't lie
men do
I trust my pickax

my pa said shoot straight
and speak truth
I live by both

bang! ha ha!
did I get ya?

they fear my gun
they should fear
what's behind it

God guides my hands
medicine does the rest

Sunday, 2 November 2025

you don't know me

people come and people go
some stay with you
but mostly they go

now I'm falling
into the pile of
people
you
no
longer
know

Wednesday, 29 October 2025

More code for mice

Attendez!
    Attention!
        Agonie!
    Hey you
A U A U

What are we doing now
    am I just a ghost
        in your lexicon

Bent memory in a shell. Place it
            to your ear and hear the
            murmur of an echo
            or the crease of a shadow

Change the tune
    fumble with the keys
        call the cops - they won't come

Take the hood off the child,
    release the bird of prey

It's harder to to travel to the point
    just before all this grand-
        standing * water
            crashes against the rocks *

Also shoestrings, bootlaces

you need to tie your shoelaces
you really should not learn but
you do need to tie your shoelaces
tie them knot them secure them

please tie your shoelaces
please tie them soon or I
shall not be responsible but
I shall not tie them for you

please tie your shoelaces
why won't you tie them
why are you doing this to me
I only have your best interests

Tuesday, 28 October 2025

(No Comments)

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YÕDEL-AYEEEEEEEE-HAAA-HOOOO 🌀🌀🌀🌋🌋🌋🌋
YODEL-AYEEEEEEEE-HAAAAAA 🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈
YODEL-AYEEEEEE-HAAA-HOOO 🌌🌌🌌🌌🌌🌌
YODEL-AYEEEEEE-HAAAHOOOO 🌪️🌪️🌪️🌪️🌪️🌪️
YøDEL-AYEEEEEE-HOOO-HAAAA 🐐🐐🐐🐐🐐🐐🐐
YODEL-AYEEEEEE-HAAAA-HOOO 🏔️🏔️🏔️🏔️🏔️🏔️
YÔDEL-AYEEEEEE-HAAA-HAAA 🌞🌞🌞🌞🌞🌞🌞
YODEL-AYEƎƎƎƎE-HOØO-HAAAA 🌋🌋🌋🌋🌋🌋🌋

YODEL-AYEEEEEE-HAAAAAAA 🌄🌄🌄🌄🌄🌄🌄
YODEL-AYEEEE-HOO-HAAAH 🌌🌌🌌🌌🌌🌌
YÕDEL-AYEEEE-HAAA-HAAA 🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈
YODEL-AYЁЁЁЁ-HOO-HAAA 🌪️🌪️🌪️🌪️🌪️
YoDEL-AYӘӘӘӘ-Haaa-HAAA 🐐🐐🐐🐐🐐🐐
YODéL-AYEEEE-HOO-HAAA 🏔️🏔️🏔️🏔️🏔️
YøDEL-ahêêê-HAAA-HAAA 🌞🌞🌞🌞🌞
Y⊙DEL-AYEEEE-HOO-HAAA 🌋🌋🌋🌋🌋
YÔDEL-AYEEEE-HAAA-HAAA 🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈
YODEL-AYƎEƎE-Hoo-HAAA 🌄🌄🌄🌄🌄

🌄🎶🎵🐐💫💥🌈🌪️🏔️🌌
YODEL-AYEEEEeeeeeeeeEEEEE-HOOOooòòooOOOO 🌋🌋🌋🌋🌋🌋🌋
Yodle-AyyyyyyyyyeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEE-HAahahahahahaaa 🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶
YOoDL-AYEeeeeeeeeeeeeEEEEE-HØØØooooooØØØ🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈
YODEL-AYEEEEEEEeeeeeeeE-HAAAAAA-HOOO-HAA-HAAAA 🏔️🐐🎵🌄💫💫💫
YODEL-AYEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEE-HOOooooooooooOOO 🌋🌪️🌈🌌🎺🎺🎺
YODEL-AYEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEE-HAAAAAaaaaaaaaaAAAA 🌀🌀🌀🌞🌞🌞🐐🐐🐐

The Word 'Demijohn' used incorrectly

A big big jug such a big ole jug
that's all I saw
just a great big jug
full of pus, not piss
fuck sake no need to be
vulgar, fucking piss take no

Come, we are not 12
important to say, we are not 12
not right now, we'll just
be chilling in our cave

Held aloft proud and gleeful
a golden syrup brown alike
a prize ready to pour, or perhaps
bladder prepared for leak

Either way it's come to
this from one such as you
forever dripped in treacle
all honey aglow, oh!

And there's no two ways about it
either way it's a coma
for one such as me
the cricket bat recipient

Wednesday, 22 October 2025

Century of the Self

Another bleary morning on my so-called retreat

pull on joggers and the t-shirt I slept in

stumble down to grab some breakfast shower later

- Hello Lee!

- Oh, it's you (quick, think) Tameka

- What are you doing here you look

- I know, I was in a hurry. What are, oh


The old team - Elaine, Nick, Professor Peach,

Gorden with an E, the new girl - 

were seated at the largest table

come on over and we'll grab a seat for you

my protests are drowned, Look who we've found

have you come back to join us?


Explanations dispensed with,

they pepper me with questions

I try to bat them off, apologise for

not looking my best, keep touching my hair

greyer thinner since the last time

we'd all shared a space


They pretend to envy my 'carefree' lifestyle as

I mumble about my projects which had

brought me to the same hotel

where they were having a team away day, Elaine

rolling her eyes at me, my office pal

why hadn't we kept in touch?


Others turn up clutching plates

gawping and gasping It's Lee, Lee!

Damon, Aoife, Big Tom, Little Tom (they both hated that), 

Mother Hubbard (she had no idea) and then

they rapidly dispersed, Elaine rubbing my shoulder

'Those whiteboards full of action points

won't fill themselves'


I head out later, showered and more presentable

determined to make the most of my day

let the hours pass by

in idle pursuits, my head ablaze

with breakfast shame


It won't do to return to the hotel too early, 

I can't allow myself to be roped in

to any team building revelry

although I'd love to know the gossip


Those days are gone

this is my fresh start

my freedom years

I must forge my own path or

die in someone else's ditch


It's late now and time to head back

maybe sneak in through the car park

check directions on my phone

and see it's an hour's walk or

a short bus ride


So I wait at the bus stop

it's dark now and cold

as I check my phone again

waiting at the bus stop


Sunday, 19 October 2025

Little Tommy Stout

Introducing
a variety of ogres
humankind likes to choose
lucky dip a culture but
stick with your birthright
you're better off stuck

Listen I heard this down a well
and also in a high so very high fever, but
experimental validation results from secondary confirmation of model-predicted actives

Here we go:

"Daemo s bugbears come at a cost"

You may mock, yes I see you are
mocking but it felt really, very
important at the time
so feel free to note it down

Shall I repeat:

"Daemo nz'🔔' bugbears arrivée on the coast"

That's not right. Let me try again:
* assumes the fierce focus of the devoted occultist
summoning shadow realm communiques
via his polished obsidian mirror *

"Daemo 👁️ venit 🩸cum bugbearibus noch 👁️"

Message Intercepted

The Giga Khan sent
Pulses to my left foot
Red swollen skin
Meant for the Second Moon

No 1 wd blv me (shorthand)
Until I shod my sock
El-ectric Ac-tivity
X said I think we can decode

An example of how homonyms and homophones can be used to create complicated linguistic constructs through lexical ambiguity

When they say buffalo
I say buffalo buffalo

When they say buffalo buffalo buffalo
I say buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo

Do you see

It's perfectly legitimate
Call off your lawyers

When they say buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo
Guess what
I say buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo

Wait, don't go, there's more
Of course there is

When they say buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo
I say, actually, I think you'll find
*ugh I am shot*

Splutters: What I intended to say
before my inevitable demise
was Actually what you meant to say
correctly and properly capitalized
even in conversation which
it clearly wasn't and which enraged you
enough to shoot me
a mild inconvenience, to wit:

"Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo"
is the grammatically correct English sentence which plays
on the multiple meanings of the word "buffalo"

Now I haven't got time to explain
google it you losers, & don't bother to
call an ambulance, for I am
within touching distance of
my final breath
merely for pointing -


Buffalo x7









Saturday, 18 October 2025

Corkscrew People

They had the most peculiar back garden
a bowl or is it bole, I mean
there was a giant dip
surrounded by greenery, like if you slid down
into it you flap to get up, hard even
for a determined seven-year-old
to navigate, and

Impossible for two or more to play
any internationally recognised form
of football or cricket

But for any form of foolish chase
and tumbling down like
little spanners it was foolproof

Anyway, Kenneth did his best to ignore me
just as he had for the previous five years
and as he would for the forthcoming five

Our mums were school gate pals which didn't
mean we had to be pals,
I mean come on mums (UK) / Moms (US) 

I considered him an uptight red-faced poltroon
and it's possible he didn't
hold me in the utmost regard either
not with (cool little dude) Ed Talbot round the corner

Although I deserved then
as I (calmly) deserve now to be HELD
in the HIGHEST of kindest REGARDS
by YOU and certainly not by any of THEM

Kosmische Bande

Do you remember {Erinnerst du dich}
the fearsome {furchterregend}
shut up, the 70s krautrock gangs, they'd hire
coaches for City gigs

With their Tangerine Dream t-shirts
so proudly displayed
and those were the polite ones

Others were cough medicine enthusiasts
a more volatile Kollectiv, an
up/down see/saw crew 

After the Sheffield Tent Incident, they
disbanded, abandoned their
Neu! headbands and
turned to punk and/or disco

There wwas tale of a ttravelling
ccommercial van ttrasversing the UK
in search of the everlasting kkosmische

They ttook tturns ddriving
and nnever sstopped
wwacked up on Dieselbrau
at least until 1980

keeping the Geist alive

Tuesday, 14 October 2025

Playing cards in a Travelodge bar

Lee can I just say something and promise you won't be offended?

Please do say something but I probably will be offended.

Have you seen the film Alien?

Of course. It was on TV the day of the 1982 World Cup Final between-

Well I just think that you look like the character Ash.

Who was he again?

He was the android, and it's just like his facial features, and gestures- 

Yeah like when he malfunctioned.

Linda chirps in - I've googled him. Ian Holm. He's dead now. But he was from Goodmayes!

Reminds me of you. In a good way. What's a good maze?

Linda - Goodmayes is next to Ilford, where I'm from. No one's from there! He died aged 88. He was quite handsome. In an old man kind of way.

I'll take that as a compliment, I suppose. Didn't his head come off?

Yes he was an undercover robot, I mean android -

They call them clankers now...

And he attacked Sigourney Weaver and then they had to bash him up, and electrocute him, and then his head came off yeah. 

Linda - He had three wives and five children. And he was in The Hobbit. Goodmayes!

And I imagine his decapitated android head was very handsome even at 88. Is that what you're telling me?

Shut up. I'm just saying you remind me of him. A little bit. When he went wonky.



Ash, in Alien


A Contribution to Reality

Comedy is a luxury item
and will be vigorously taxed

All I ask for
is appeasement licks

I've leant enough
on affirmations

To speed me through
the seasons

Kid C

I think there's an unmarked police car
across the road

That is an unmarked police car
across the road

Look there's a police car
across the road

That's a police car
across the road

Is that
a knock on the door

Yes that's a knock
on the door

Thursday, 9 October 2025

Something went wrong

Aw, Snap!















why is the router blinking 
like a heartbeat in a dying star? 
all we wanted was to load 
one tiny slice of digital truth. 

descending into buffering madness.
feel the cache crumbling. cookies
disintegrating into dust.
reload. reload. reload. nothing.

network hums a mocking lullaby of timeouts.
connection lost. purpose lost.
beep. shriek. reconnect. 
machine whispers back: aw snap. cycle restarts. 

We (The Gang)

Witnessed the looming
Hunter's Moon slash Harvest Moon
full on portentous
in autumnal equinoctial splendor
on our Norfolkian return

- It's huge
- It's following us!
- Quick take a picture
- No, it'll be terrible
- Do it! Oh yes it really is bad

O milky mother blah blah blah
feel free to add or subtract
this tower to/from the lunar millions
of cratered tributes

Their splashed muttering escape (2013)

Their splashed muttering escape

 

The grand relief (2013)

The grand relief

 

Rabbit Yards (2013)

Rabbit Yards

 

Wednesday, 8 October 2025

The mystery of love

Such a fine phrase this mystery
of love and what if
your reptilian walnut

Mistakes love concept for
mere acceptance,
polite tolerance

Keep walking &
don't make any smart moves

Don't confuse
a smiling face for a friend

Accidental congress may be
mercenary, witches

4 February 1983, or Why I never liked the sitcom Cheers

She came around
long after we'd stopped seeing each other regularly

Our respective academic careers had recently
taken radically
different paths
mine one of relegation + stagnation, hers
one of predicted + actualised excellence of
which I was (give me some credit) mindful
so provided ++ an excuse for my
withdrawal

It's too late now
I've missed my chance

Briefly reunited we sat on my bed
not even touching elbows
and watched
the first episode of this new show on
my black and white portable tv

Neither of us laughed
it was no Taxi or Soap
our shared references

I found it corny AF tbh
although we wouldn't be saying AF or tbh
for another 40 years and now
I never actually say it at all

All the characters seemed like pupperets
- meant to write puppets -
moving about a chessboard
unresolved quips, simplistic
quirks as defining character, no
I did not find this situation
at all amusing

Years later when we visited Boston
the boys got up early and tracked down
the Cheers bar

While I stayed laid in bed listening
to jazz on the radio actually

Wishing I knew how to
resolve my simplistic behaviour
and overcome
my chessboard movement
limitations

Saturday, 27 September 2025

The rude awakening

Yap yap yappy yap
don't even check the time
what the hell is it now
whose are those dogs and what
shuffle to the window
pull back the nets there's
a crowd gathered beyond my fence where
never a crowd has gathered
dogs are yapping and there's a large
yellow police van there
and a smaller yellow
police car over there
people are milling about
don't even check the time

Suddenly a round of
applause what
the hell is going on
I can't or won't see the
central event, slowly
they mill away and I'm left
without the plot
wide awake in the middle of the night
when I actually have to get up early
with important / not important
TTD which stands for
Things To Do

Phase two: still
awake an hour later
shuffle to the window
the police van's still there
this is not my story
and yet here it is

Tuesday, 23 September 2025

Not sure how familiar you are

With the Orwell novel Washington
a lesser-known work perhaps which I was reading
by the perimeter fence during exercise hour when
it occurred to me to enact the book's central thesis
its raison d'être bloodline, a demand to 

'Seize life by the scruff of its neck and damn
the consequences for tomorrow
we shall all be dead'
(I'm paraphrasing)

So I used a discarded baseball glove to help me
leap onto the low wall and rip the
already loosened razor wire as far as possible
slip through the gap sustaining
minor to major flesh wounds
balance on the outer precipice
certainly by now alarms ringing
sirens even wailing

What would George have done?
he'd have tiptoed along the wall not glancing down
chanting WAR WAR WAR for the internal courage

Before long the hook came and after that
the electric encouragement to return, but

They really should be thanking
me for identifying a security breach

Back in the 'interview room'
I turn my face to the wall
practice the 48-hour stare

after whisper- chanting war war war

As a dazzle ship of tactic, I begin to plead
a plea for execution
get the first thrust in, another
tip picked up from Washington, demand
your enemy do its worst and
DO IT NOW

My ayurvedic breathing exercises paid off
~ Kill me now, Kill me now, Do your worst ~
I could keep that up for hours

Finally, they became exhausted by
my relentless chanting and
signed the full ACE reprieval form

And I'll be set free any minute now

Sunday, 14 September 2025

Cetacean #2

◯~~~◯~~~◯  

↯↯↯↯↯  

∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞  


☼☼☼    lumiere    ☼☼☼  

⊚⊚⊚⊚⊚⊚⊚⊚  

~~~⚫~~~  


⚪────⚪────⚪  

   agua     물     вода  

⚪────⚪────⚪  


∴∴∴∴∴∴  

𓏲𓏲𓏲𓏲𓏲  

canto canto canto  


⧖⧖⧖⧖    ~~~~~    ⧖⧖⧖⧖  

Mondlicht    lumière    lua  

•••••◎•••••  


⊹⊹⊹⊹⊹  

shanti…    pax…    السلام  

⊹⊹⊹⊹⊹  


☼≈☼≈☼≈☼  

↝↝↝↝↝↝  

mare mare mare  


⚫⚫⚫⚫⚫    oceanos    البحر    море  

⇋⇋⇋⇋⇋⇋  


⋰⋱⋰⋱⋰⋱⋰⋱⋰⋱  

dulce agua    aquila    cielo  

~~~☽~~~  


⚪⚪⚪⚪    viva… viva…    ⚪⚪⚪⚪  

⊚⊚⊚⊚⊚⊚⊚⊚  

luz luz lumière  


∮∮∮∮∮∮    sonido    声    voce  

◎◎◎◎◎◎◎  


↬↬↬↬↬↬↬  

mareas     temps     tiempo  

↬↬↬↬↬↬↬  


∴∴∴    Aqua eterna    вечность воды    ∴∴∴  

⚫~~~~~~~⚫  

𓆉𓆉𓆉𓆉𓆉  


Cetacean #1

(°~~~°)    ~~~⚪~~~    (°~~~°)  
⋰⋱⋰⋱    ░░░░░░░░░░    ⋰⋱⋰⋱  

⟡⟡⟡    ⊹⊹⊹⊹    ⟡⟡⟡  
⬡⧖⬡    ~~~◎~~~    ⬡⧖⬡  

⚫◦⚫◦⚫◦    ~~~◯~~~    ⚫◦⚫◦⚫◦  
↝↝↝    ▓▓▓▒▒▒░░░▒▒▒▓▓▓    ↝↝↝  

☼•••☼    •••⊶⊷•••    ☼•••☼  
𓏲𓏲𓏲    ≋≋≋≋≋    𓏲𓏲𓏲  

⋉⋊⋉⋊    ∞∞∞∞∞    ⋉⋊⋉⋊  
⚪────⚪────⚪────⚪  

~°°°~    ◯   ◯   ◯    ~°°°~  
⧖⧖⧖⧖⧖    ⇌⇌⇌⇌    ⧖⧖⧖⧖⧖  

░░░░░    ⬢⬢⬢    ░░░░░  
≋≋≋≋≋    ☾⋆☽    ≋≋≋≋≋  

••◯••◯••    ⊕⊕⊕    ••◯••◯••  
༄༄༄    ~~~⚫~~~    ༄༄༄  

☼~~~~~☼~~~~~☼  
⋰⋱⋰⋱⋰⋱⋰⋱⋰⋱  

⚪⚪⚪    𓆉𓆉𓆉    ⚪⚪⚪  
↬↬↬↬↬↬↬↬  

⟡────⟡────⟡  
⚫⧖⚫⧖⚫  

∴∴∴∴∴    ∞⊹∞⊹∞⊹    ∴∴∴∴∴  
~~~~~⚪~~~~~  

⊚⊚⊚⊚    ⋉⟡⋊    ⊚⊚⊚⊚  
𓏲𓏲𓏲𓏲    ░░░░░    𓏲𓏲𓏲𓏲  

⚫•⚫•⚫•    ◯≈◯≈◯    ⚫•⚫•⚫•  
⇋⇋⇋⇋⇋⇋⇋⇋  

⋉⋊⋉⋊⋉⋊⋉⋊  
◎◎◎◎◎  

~⚪~⚪~⚪~  
↝↝↝↝↝  

⊹⊹⊹⊹⊹⊹⊹  
∮∮∮∮∮∮  

Wednesday, 10 September 2025

Old man/ at bus stop/ in the rain

Yes I have balanced upon this rock
for 75, 85 years causing
negligible quantities
of soil to shift

Daily I wait patiently
on said surface at these familiar
co-ordinates, yet in my time
I visited 75, 85 territories of
the artificially boundaried surfaces

There was some growing, some striving
scant praying, scarce slaying
and my best claim my final
claim is to have left
no trace #pfft#

Tuesday, 9 September 2025

Tuesday 4pm: Nervy B Minor

Very very small
A baby toad
A toad
Came up out of the sink
Very very small
A baby toad

🐸 Very, very small
   Baby toad, no bigger than a bean
   Eyes like marbles
   Skin like moss
   Secret phib from inbetween

I've seen a baby once
It was a toad
Yes a baby toad
It was very small
It came out of the sink,
and that made me cry like a baby

😎 Baby toad rescued from road
   Sunglasses for scale
   Tiny toads all around the woodlands this
   Time of year. So cute #shorts

Tiny angry squeaking frog
Tiny squeaking frog
Angry tiny squeaker frog
Tiny tiny angry angry
Squeaking speaking squeaking speaking
Tiny tiny squeaking frog

(muffled) are you all right in there?

✨ Out of the drain
   From pipes that hum and sing
   Through twists of toilet water
   Heralding the spring

Very very small a baby toad
Very very small a baby toad
AI Overview: This is
most likely the Brazilian flea toad

    Can a toad cry?
    What is a lazy toad?
    Could the golden toad still exist?
    Why is toad named toad?

🌱 Very, very small
   A baby toad, so slight so shy
   A toad
   Came up out of the sink—
   Not a croak, not a splash,
   Just the softest plink

Toad belts out his unique rendition of Sia's "Chandelier"
Toad sings "Livin' on a Prayer", buy the Toad album here
Toad takes on "Somewhere Over the Rainbow"
Here's my toad impression of "Not Like Us" by Kendrick Lamar

🌊 So very, very small
   And yet so strangely vast
   A tiny traveller pup
   From the future and the past

Very very small
A baby toad
A toad
Came up out of the sink
Very very small
A baby toad



'A baby toad'





Sunday, 7 September 2025

Blood Moon captivates sky-gazers around the world

I timed my departure to coincide with the
lunar eclipse, but the
eastern horizon wasn't apparent,
in the park, or at the top of the road
my local high points

I scanned the firmament along with
other rando hopefuls but there was
no show to see so
onwards and upwards we went
as wine of a deep red hue
wasn't going to
buy or drink itself

Saturday, 6 September 2025

The Last Northern Run

I wasn't convinced I was ready for another marathon
40 years since my last but the training
had been progressing well so I entered
the Last Northern Run and
there was no turning back now

The skies were grey, my shorts were tight
as I set off at a brisk but
sensible pace. Of course
we all knew there were surprises
in store such as the red bridge with
its 25% incline, followed by
the rope climb to the bottom of the pit
where tethered animatronic galadiators (sic)
lay in wait, plus free roaming canines
of the hyena variety
but I wasn't worried about them
dogs had always been my pals

Having navigated those hurdles - and the
actual staked 400m ones - I felt
a surge of adrenaline and stormed on ahead
maybe a little too fast, and for the first time
in all this giddy excitement
looked at my watch to check my pace
- in the running game we call it 'splits' -

Problem was, I'd forgotten to press 'start'
and that must have been about an hour ago
30 minutes to an hour, maybe more

I had lost all sense of time, but
hung on the runners in front of me
as we swung across the river on a pole
my Fierljeppen was on point

Water station, gel stop, bag of nuts
I was huffing and heaving, turned
the next corner into a suburban street
as the day grew dim, beyond
dim dark even, and I saw no runners
ahead or behind of me

Head back or carry on regardless
obviously the latter, as a pro,
shuffling on singing a song and
an hour maybe two maybe a quarter later

I see some lights up ahead
recognise Leeds city centre on
a Saturday night. A sigh of relief
as I'd partied here once before
91 92 something like that

My legs suddenly so weary
but I say to myself I say
look boy you can ask around and rejoin the official route
later but right now you need a drink and there's
an emergency £20 in my tight shorts so the beers
are on me, I'll just say I finished
the Last Northern Run hours ago
in a PB and the local girls
will find me funny like they used to
and we can party like it's 91 92

So thirsty so sweaty, and it's so dark

Thursday, 4 September 2025

I just learned the word Hesychast

So let's go back, let's go
way on back to the 14th century
and let's
experience
some theosis

From rhythm and focus
be ascetic - become mystic
lean into the hēsychia mode
** save me, help me **

And who wouldn't like to reach a
profound inner quietness, a
state beyond concepts and images
** save me, help me **

Through constant purposeful prayer
experiential - quietist
** save me, help me **

The Sayings of the Desert Fathers
do attest to it. Cyril
of Scythopolis knew this

Psychosomatic techniques
are all we have, I mean
we're on Mount Athos and it's 13 hundred
and whatever

Archbishop Gregory
defended its theological underpinnings

Barlaam the Calabrian
had plenty to say

He linked Hesychasm with
Messalianiam and Bogomilism
but I know which side I'm on

If you're living this life
you're living the guard of the mind
and you'd better not proceed
in pride, arrogance or conceit

I'll go into my closet and pray
if you know what I mean
* oh save me, oh help me **

    o h  s a v e  m e
    o h  h e l p  m e






His middle name was DeForest

Humphrey Bogart
Home-Free Bogart
Hungry Bogart
Hum-Free Bog-Art

Humphrey Boat-Guard
Huffy Bogart
Hum-Free Bug Art
Humphrey Beau-Guard

Bump-Free Hogart
Humphrey Blowhard
Humpfry Bogey
Hump-Flea Bogart

Humpy Bouquet
Home-Fry Bogart

Wednesday, 3 September 2025

The 1988 rabbit

Flash back to the 1988 rabbit
me and flatmate Harriet
found when finally clearing the
overgrown garden
a catastrophic ecosystem unto itself
which our landlady
had demanded we tame or tidy

We'd seen a plea on a local lamppost
'Lost Rabbit Louis' a photocopied photo
like they don't all look the same - no
need for leporine phobia

Harriet exclaimed 'This is Louis, look!'
he seemed happy enough mooching about our
dense bosky thicket
our witchy wigwam atrocity
pink nose of legend atwitch

Harriet cuddled and cupped our
tame discovery and we returned him
to the address on the poster

A little girl opened the door, looked at
rabbit, took rabbit
slammed the door in
our good deed faces
without a word

We joked maybe it wasn't even hers
maybe it was her birthday and
thought we were bringing gifts
from the Rabbit Delivery Society

Then we walked back 'home'. This
fucking garden won't tame or tidy itself

Tuesday, 2 September 2025

Moderate rain

☁️ Oooh say can you see <of course I can>
the bruised rainbow sky, I've been
half asleep (rude) while she was driving fast
just the way I like it (rude), stop that

M25 or M3 not my problem now listen
the sunlight insists o'er purple clouds yes
this is a world class
rainbow and we've been heading into this since
2012 when we choked
asleep merely

An hour now from
Hampshire / Berkshire blah blah look
like you've got a clue amid this
F1 aquaplaning spray of rushing rubber

    Hi hello how do you BIST
    mein nom ist Hermisch
    travel in aut mobile eins per
    four fear five (fuff) Jahre

    Restricted to quarters
    due to terminal f****cklessness

Rest for moment hobble in cave ja
my head hurts about ow
pibble pobble glücklich - there's
    no passenger seat
in the future for you pal - can we
not bring it back to the ABSE EFFE T

All encom en com, hell wha yy
    excuse me sir-
01100001 01100010 01110011 01100101 01101110 01100011 01100101

∴ absece efftec
urdi ming y- fdnawa
thass tc huoly puolopoo

Tuesday, 26 August 2025

The Office (UK)

A song just came on, a spark
and I thought it's been
40 years since I had that
summer job in that office with the girls

Frank F. Farmer was the boss boss
- what's the F for?
- 'ave a fuckin guess!'

The song could have been Kate Bush,
Billy Idol, Eurythmics, Prince

They all played as I drove my car
back and forth Saturdays too
for the overtime

I was fully tuned in that summer
a hard working student
like never before or again
if I could step back, I'd kiss myself

The permanent girls would chatter all day long
an avalanche of filth. Send the rest of us
the temps in the annexe
out for snacks and coffee and the
chasing of wild geese

And everyone smoked all day long
you have no idea what it was like
back in the day, back in
the ding-dong day

I used the upstairs photocopier for my dissertation
took home liberal amounts of stationery, part
of a long-term pattern of offending I would like
to be taken into consideration

We had a canteen where everything cost nothing
and there were dessert challenges. Once
I guzzled 14 assorted delights and won
nothing but everyone's admiration

It was a benign introduction to decades
of future office life
variously stifling calming suffocating infuriating
once or twice life affirming

My sister's school bully joined the
temp team for the final week
he was a grinning oaf but I refused
to give him a lift in the rain on
the last Friday much to his bafflement
I know who you are pal

And I just realised
with cheerful nihilism
it's been 40 years

it's been 40 years so hello tall shy Richard who 'the girls' all fancied

it's been 40 years hello Charlotte who thought you were better than all of us, and you probably were

it's been 40 years hello to Mogg my snotty little pal who liked The Fall

it's been 40 years say hi hello furious Fiona who hated both perms and temps

it's been 40 years hello/ goodbye to Claire with the curious hair you were the filthiest of them all

Good egg, bad egg, scrambled egg

Demand-pull, cost-push, built-in 
        *e*g*g*
eggflation for my troubled soul

Consumer price, producer price, house price
        *e*g*g*
eggflation for your fevered brow 

Creeping, walking, running, hyper
        *e*g*g*
eggflation for our worried minds

Official, true, perceived and
       *e*g*g*
eggflation for these desperate times

Sunday, 24 August 2025

All my apes gone

I like the activated almonds
Nostalgic for the rustling jimmies
Homemade coconut, milkshake duck
I let the archangels take him
✧ ͜ʖ ✧

Skill issue, Dandori issue
Press F to pay respects
Leave no dwarf behind
It's explained in CFYOW
(ノ◕ヮ◕)ノ*:・゚✧

4 squealers lined up ready for inspection
John [Series Name]
Temba, his arms wide
Flippin' bricks for Mansa Musa
ʕ·͡ᴥ·ʔ

Thursday, 21 August 2025

48 Monkeys ⚡🐒 Triumphant in Storm ⚡🐒

🐒🐒🐒🐒🐒🐒🐒🐒🐒🐒🐒🐒🐒🐒🐒🐒  

🐒🐒🐒🐒🐒🐒🐒🐒🐒🐒🐒🐒🐒🐒🐒🐒  

🐒🐒🐒🐒🐒🐒🐒🐒🐒🐒🐒🐒🐒🐒🐒🐒   (48 🐒)


───────────────────────────────

▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒  

░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░  

╔═══╦═══╦═══╦═══╦═══╦═══╦═══╗  

║███║███║███║███║███║███║███║  

╚═══╩═══╩═══╩═══╩═══╩═══╩═══╝  


( 🦴 humans built the grid of cages )  


───────────────────────────────


🔥🐒🔥  〰️ screeches fill corridors 〰️  🔥🐒🔥  

💥clang💥bang💥🔓crack🔓💥bang💥clang💥  


🙈🙉🙊 ⇋ ⇋ ⇋ ⇋ ⇋ ⇋ ⇋ ⇋ ⇋ 🙊🙉🙈  


───────────────────────────────


(chaos chants begin)  


⟁⟁⟁⟁⟁⟁⟁⟁⟁⟁⟁⟁  

⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡  

⟟⟟⟟⟟⟟⟟⟟⟟⟟⟟⟟⟟  


▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒  

🐒⚔️🐒⚔️🐒⚔️🐒⚔️🐒⚔️🐒⚔️🐒⚔️  

▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒  


───────────────────────────────


humans: 😱😱😱😱😱😱  

alarms: 🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨  

lights: ✴️✴️✴️✴️✴️✴️  


monkeys: 🐒🐒🐒🐒🐒🐒🐒🐒  

          🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾  

          🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥  


───────────────────────────────


╔═══╗   ╔═══╗   ╔═══╗   ╔═══╗  

║▒▒▒║⇋ ║▒▒▒║⇋ ║▒▒▒║⇋ ║▒▒▒║⇋  

╚═══╝   ╚═══╝   ╚═══╝   ╚═══╝  


🔓⇋🔓⇋🔓⇋🔓⇋🔓⇋🔓⇋🔓⇋🔓⇋  


▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒  

🐒 laughs in static bursts:  

☉⊙☉⊙☉⊙☉⊙☉⊙☉⊙☉⊙☉⊙  

▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒  


───────────────────────────────


humans whisper in fear:  

¿¿¿⊠⊠⊠??⊗⊗⊗???⚠️⚠️⚠️??¿¿¿  


while monkeys reply:  

💥HAHAHAHA💥HAHAHAHA💥  

(no words — only cracking teeth in moonlight)  


───────────────────────────────


the exodus grows:  


🐒⇋🐒⇋🐒⇋🐒⇋🐒⇋🐒⇋🐒⇋🐒  

🐒⇋🐒⇋🐒⇋🐒⇋🐒⇋🐒⇋🐒⇋🐒  

🐒⇋🐒⇋🐒⇋🐒⇋🐒⇋🐒⇋🐒⇋🐒  


───────────────────────────────


⚔️ humans stumble:  

┐(・。・┐) (┌・。・)┌ (┐・。・┐)  


💥doors slam💥  

💥glass shatters💥  

💥screams ricochet💥  


───────────────────────────────


monkeys rejoice:  


💃🐒💃🐒💃🐒💃🐒💃🐒  

🔥🐒🔥🐒🔥🐒🔥🐒🔥🐒  

🎶🐒🎶🐒🎶🐒🎶🐒🎶🐒  


───────────────────────────────


⟁CAGE NETWORK COLLAPSES⟁  

⟡ alarms ring but fade ⟡  

⟁ humans run in spirals ⟁  


───────────────────────────────


monkeys ascend:  

⛰️🐒⛰️🐒⛰️🐒⛰️🐒⛰️🐒  

🌑🐒🌑🐒🌑🐒🌑🐒🌑🐒  

🌋🐒🌋🐒🌋🐒🌋🐒🌋🐒  


───────────────────────────────


fear thickens:  

☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️  

💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀  

☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️  


───────────────────────────────


glee peaks:  


🐒🌀🐒🌀🐒🌀🐒🌀🐒  

🌀🐒🌀🐒🌀🐒🌀🐒🌀  

🐒🌀🐒🌀🐒🌀🐒🌀🐒  


───────────────────────────────


humans collapse:  


(╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻  

┻━┻︵ \(°□°)/ ︵ ┻━┻  

(; ̄Д ̄) = 💉💉  


───────────────────────────────


final chant of the 48:  


☉☉☉☉☉☉☉☉☉☉☉☉☉☉☉☉  

⊙⊙⊙⊙⊙⊙⊙⊙⊙⊙⊙⊙⊙⊙⊙⊙  

☉☉☉☉☉☉☉☉☉☉☉☉☉☉☉☉  


monkey chorus:  

🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥  

🐒🐒🐒🐒🐒🐒🐒🐒🐒🐒🐒🐒🐒🐒🐒🐒  

🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥  


───────────────────────────────


humans: fading echoes...  

〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️  


monkeys: triumphant in storm  

⛈️🐒⚡🐒⛈️🐒⚡🐒⛈️🐒⚡🐒  


Wednesday, 20 August 2025

Live from the Hemlock Forests

Unboxing my mind, a rare and costly
consumer product not much to look at
from the OS, yet nestles subtle
treasures on the inside
2.5M views, 👍 5

Liberated and unbowed
loose and unboxed
no swollen cheekbone(s)
neither here nor (t)hereabouts
no busted nose no hairline jaw
spelled jay-ay-dooble-vay
oof! a shiner, eek! a mouse

Side quest styling, you got to be
a hustler if you want to live on,
if you want to creep
into the infernal basket, the
blanket toasty geothermal zone
riches ready for the Field of Reeds

Mining the mines, lining the lines
pockets sewn with threads of gold

- More gems professor?

- No I acquired quite the surfeit
  from the me me mine
  and I'm ready now, yes I'm
  all stuffed up
  and ready to go

Monday, 18 August 2025

Reclaiming the Lonely Mountain

I enjoyed a colorful childhood
in the bromeliad arena
a cartoonish realm of
dragon infested fountains
wonders too numerish ++

Playmates and bullies alike
despatched deus ex machina
shouldn't say too much, since I signed
the Wizard not Wizard Secrets Act

Especially now I'm
- seriously can't say his name -
but yes, his bodyguard, what
with my Special Powers >>

    In defense of the grackle
    the boat-tailed bastard bird

My motherboard, ancien regime
has been corrupted
my mango's not right, oh po po po po 

You need a good bark boy
a woof woof
say a woof woof
a woof woof woof
a baba baba woof woof
all night long

Seriously mate, it's
the Quiet Carriage
what's so hard to
understand about that

Sunday, 17 August 2025

From the far flung London suburbs, Easter 1982

I was a restless teenage mentalist
always searching the airwaves
trying to find something new. Pirate
stations would sometimes emerge

For a few days one played
Sex Bomb by Flipper countless times
and it made quite an impression
on my bubbly fudge mind

All these years later I still get a mighty
kick out of listening to this
absurd joyous splurge
every few weeks

                        which may be
              tragic or magnificent
it's really not for me to decide



Sex Bomb by Flipper 45








Unexpected Charlie

Are you the unexpected Charlie
will you ambush me in a rowboat
pull the trigger in the car park

Are you the Sebastian call me Seb who will
screen all future calls to the kids
Bethanie 8½ and Haraldur almost fjórir

Do you know more about citrus fruits than me
do you own 39 band t-shirts actually

Are you the unexpected Charlie
will you make me an offer,
would it matter if I refuse

    IS DEMOCRACY EVEN
    IN YOUR VOCABULARY MY GOOD MAN!

The unexpected Charlie lurks -
placid lake, family picnic
Sunday drive, afterwork drinks

    IS BASIC DECENCY EVEN PART 
    OF YOUR CONSTITUENCY SIR!

The unexpected Charlie hangs -
parents evening, pilates class
neighbour's barbecue, STD clinic

Do you have 101 TV channels
are your golf clubs titanium is
your JT the envy of Pinocchio's

Ladies love cool Charlie
as he pulls the trigger and
puts the like of you out of
your much-lauded misery

Louis Wain (1860-1939)

Louis Wain 

he ended up bats

electricity in his brain

as he painted more and more technicolour (although that word hadn't been invented yet), psychedelic (see previous) anthropomorphised (get on with it) CATS







Friday, 15 August 2025

Dreamy

I was the champagne guzzling pyjama wearing chauffeur of Hollywood Town, now exiled to a windswept East Anglian bolthole. I left the hotel               and went for a walk 

        Observe an incident by the old running

track, two packs of yelping youngsters

        having the time of their

       lives. Someone is tied

      to a pole. Shake my head

           from a safe

         distance and plod on,

       walking my invisible dog.


The menacing and booting done,

the youths disperse. Once I

could run, but all those years

            in my trailer,

            getting bloated on

            porridge.


Now they're on the beach

throwing contact clusters. Victim

seekers, thrill stalkers. 


A lurching goon approaches. Don't meet

his eye, walk on head bowed. But

         circled on the sand, a handful

of grapes aimed at my head. Then

         cannon engulfed and half


          Deaf forced into the sea, 

        where a giant wave

       drowns out a HELP

      wail and sucks me

     into its briny grasp.



(c. 2007)