The Gesture

As the end of my sessions drew near
it came into my head which I had learned
was poorly wired and liable to misfire
to present my patient
counsellor with a token of my gratitude 

For having listened to so many
weeks of my moaning and whining,
not to mention the groaning and wailing. 

Pressed for time I ducked into
the supermarket and grabbed the first substantial
item that manifested itself to me

Clutched it to my chest like a newborn
and hobbled along to the clinic.

And that is how I handed over
a 5kg sack of specialty potatoes

To Ms Piper while muttering my sweaty thanks
and suppressing the realisation I'd
neglected to pay for them.

She nodded and remarked that
across different cultures and historical eras,
the potato has shifted from an ancient agrarian deity
to a modern-day metaphor for quiet strength and grounding
and thus was an appropriate and touching gift 

Furthermore as a symbol of survival,
regeneration, and steadfast resilience
it signified that our work here was done.

Flaking Kingdom

I was at the loosest of ends
the people had voted for me to be
his official biographer
so that was how I ended up in his bedroom
the creaking zone

Walls stained with
scribblings none could decipher
daubed in crayon or soup while
bulbs swung bare from leather cords

His modest residence occupied and undecorated
for 25 years. The neighbours say he kept
himself to himself but reported
wives numbers one and two were really quite chatty

He himself sat smoking in the garden, hunched
over and hammering at a typewriter at all hours
while his cats prowled and brought tributes

Did you have a serving hatch

Yes we had a serving hatch
a hole in the wall between kitchen and dining room
for effective meal delivery
architecturally known as a passthrough 

Great fun to climb through as a child
or maybe once as a bored adult when no one was home

See also climbing over the baluster at the top of the stairs
and jumping on to the landing without bashing your head against
the wall or breaking an ankle
you had to make your own entertainment

But to return to the serving hatch
a feature particularly associated with the 1970s
along with the hostess trolley

Ours didn't have windows
or doors you could close
so when I was making
coffee that morning
I couldn't help but glimpse
the body of my father
through the hatch
in the hospital bed
in the back room
where he spent his final night

Yes we had a serving hatch

I spotted him

Walking down Wardour Street one grey morning
on such a gloomy mundane day
        hay hay, hay hay, hay hay
        hee hee, hee hee, hee hee

On my way to work, I was late or
early no one cared not now or then
and when: nineteen ninety six

A figure walked, a denim jacketed fig
raw and majestic famed and aflame
of face set up against the cloud

He stopped
turned around
seemed confused
      it's him, it's definitely him he looks lost
      of course he does but now he's
      strutting languidly
      towards Oxford Street

Some call him Moz, I would not
  dare be so familiar certainly
    not speak to him, or even
      listen to him these days

I hope that's the correct response

Posh Isolation

You guys would be surprised at how many
people just sit in their house.
That's it. That's their life.

These people just sit in their houses all day. They
don't go outside, just stay in their house.

Such a preference can be a valid lifestyle
choice rather than a lack of ambition.

Drawbacks such as reduced sunlight
can impact sleep cycles and physical well-being.

But people are annoying.

Honestly, I just find people exhausting
even when they are perfectly nice and cordial
all that having to fake nicey-nicey.

Some people
can stay inside
their house
for a whole week
without going anywhere,
and it doesn't
bother them at all.

I've worked very hard to build a
comfortable life in a comfortable home.

Also, people are annoying.

My house is where all my things are
and I like my things.

I'm an introvert and all my hobbies
can be done from the comfort of my room.

People are persistent irritants
personal space invaders and
social allergens.

And I don't have to put pants on.

Don't discount optimal arousal theory
I'm happy peaking in the moderate zone
if that's all right with you.

Why go on a cruise or go to a theme park?
You can just stay at home
and watch videos on YouTube.

Plus, people are annoying.

It's completely fine to limit your exposure
protect your boundaries
have a five-minute vent
check your tank and
focus on the core circle.

It's too cold outside
and I have massive social anxiety.

On my way, I'm on my way

I'm late and head into an unknown shop

Been in the business the drinking
business for 40 years now and still don't
know what or which wine to buy, but in a
spirit of light-heartedness have lately taken
to purchasing bottles based on
amusing labels or names

Thus select a Merlot
featuring an illustration of
the Secretary Bird
which tickles the proprietor

    Ah this Secretary Bird is
    a vicious bastard sir you know
    it kills the snake, it rips
    and kicks and stomps
    you never want to meet one
    an absolute devil!

    Eight pound ninety nine.

Black Mold

{whispers} in poorly 
           ventilated
           environments

I got black mold
Got it all day long

Breathe in those mycotoxins
With mild to moderate symptoms

I got black mold
Got it all night long

Slimy, dark green, black patch
Red eye, skin rash, headache

I got black mold
And I'm never gonna lose it

You should hire a professional remediator
Condensation, leaks, and rising damp

{subliminal} Stachybotrys chartarum

I got black mold
Any old way you choose it

I'm coughing and sneezing
Got the asthma and the wheezing

Cos I'm full of black mold
Yes I'm loving that mold