I think that I shall never see
anything like the Zelkova tree
A tree which sits on Dulwich Common
it's been added to Google maps
native to Japan, this foreign
import has led some to rhapsodise
about its charms - 'splendid, awesome
with a muscular fluted trunk'
Others are less impressed
with this 200-year-old guest
'good tree'
'adequate tree'
'I mean its a tree innit'
'Just the tree
near the park
and near the road'
music to vibe out to
modo fac tincan folklore
quirly-candy-toy sound
Electric Chariot section
smoking the green stuff
there are people who will read the Bible
pure kosmische musik energy
this is what an apple tastes like?
I may have a problem
a small journey to just getting baked
and drawing stuff trippin' like a butterfly
every place that you can imagine
oh my nihilism - is this canon?
like some lost artifact or memory
music to groove to, almost like a great book
for the first time and walk away
at 10:27 I start to ascend
difficult to listen to where this feels broken
First Dance Wedding Tune
I'm believing every word, music to get lost in
honestly the best song
whale speaks of all time not even kidding
kicking ass all choppy and shit
in these fast times that we live in
I guess if you were a weed head in the 90s
and grew up with divorced parents
and had no culture or responsibility
and your head was lost in a cloud of pot smoke
this song met your low expectations
The unfortunate reality
of truly giant robots
is that nearly every material you can imagine
behaves like jelly
at large enough scales
Not if they made with unjellyfunium
Even buildings? Yes mass
dampeners exist specifically
to counter-jiggle because they wobble in the wind
The square-cube law
is one of the real Buzz Killingtons of physics
Discovered this ages 10
building truss bridges
out of tape and drinking straws
This is why the truly giant ones
are made from psychic energy
My cat walked across one of my bridges
and I was like holy crap plastic straws
seem stronger than steel for their size
It will be different when we discover
the super space alloy and power it
with the super space energy rays
that will make everything work like I dream
The unfortunate reality
of truly giant robots
is that nearly every material you can imagine
behaves like jelly
at large enough scales
You don't make the giant mega ship,
you make many small ships
That's what my brain says anyways,
but my heart says giant robots are cool
This is why the Magazord uses
five smaller robots to mitigate this effect
Like if you think about it,
planets behave like liquid
over a billion years
This is why we need either
Gundanium alloy OR the Dead Sea Scrolls
I once prefabbed a straight run of 120’ of 4” steel pipe
for a welder. Took 10 guys to get it in the trench.
It bowed like a piece of spaghetti
It's fine just replace the bushings
in the leg joints every 1.4 miles
Time for peanut butter robot
The unfortunate reality
of truly giant robots
is that nearly every material you can imagine
behaves like jelly
at large enough scales
That's why the ultimate giant robot is made
from the energy of Man's indomitable will to live
Failure in your relativistic dynamic compression
members propagates at almost the same speed you can warn of it
But you can build some robots
of unusual size using
monocrystalline diamond
We just need to keep the robots
at human size and shrink all the people
Then why don't mountains flop like an jelly
https://x.com/ashlee3dee/status/2068346914081259783
I will sneer at you if you say these things:
To be pacific
For all intensive purposes
Doggy-dog world
Mute point
On tender hooks
Pass mustard
Cold slaw
Damp squid
Old-timer's disease
Off the beat and track
Take it for granite
Takes two to tangle
Chester draws
Wheelbarrel
Dull as dishwater
Old wise tale
Expresso
Escape goat
In one fowl swoop
And I will sneer at you if you write these things:
Baited breath
Bare witness
Tow the line
Illicit a response
But I will congratulate you if you say these thing:
Skellington
I just tell it like it is
I will say boo to a goose
I'll upset the applecart
I call it refreshing honesty
others say I'm a toxic tart
Like, like if you don't like
my opinion I have others
I'm very much what-you-see-is-what-you-get
My other half gets me
I'm lacking in tact and
deficient in guile while
he's the honey, I am the marmite
We go together like sugar and spite
like rama lama fa fa fa so
I'm far too salty, he's far too nice
but playing nice never won the prize
I paid the cost to be the boss
I know they whisper I'm a jerk
but somebody's got to pull the strings
so pretty please
let's get to fucking work
- Look it's the loneliest heron
add it to your app.
She means Merlin, meanwhile
Oi kids! Look up!
What.
Put your phones down now and look up.
Where daddy?
In the flaming tree, look, before-
What's up there daddy?
It's a heron.
What's that?
A BIRD! Big bird.
- Did you get it?
- Yes I got it. Let's move on.
A Chinese businessman clutching a briefcase turns and asks me
if he can walk to The Guardian offices from this stop.
He has some important papers to deliver.
And it must be done in person. He glances
over his shoulder. I say no sir this is Victoria.
Where does this train terminate?
It stops at King's Cross.
That's not what I asked.
Yes but you could walk from there.
I tire of his questions and fall asleep.
The lack of oxygen down here. And it's
all been so tiring lately don't you find.
With the recent manifestations. The
rumoured disappearances.
I wake in a startle and hop off the tube
two stops past my target. I half
recognise the streets and feel confident
if I keep walking I can find my way home.
It's not dark yet but it's not light either.
A gentle rain begins to fall.
A bonfire aroma in the autumn evening.
A sign on the bridge up ahead.
Closer: it's a wooden, domino shaped, pulsing and
patterned artefact which emits a hum or drone.
They say the pulses and hums are trying to tell us something.
I have a free app on my phone for just such an occasion.
It's called Rankgor don't ask me why.
Such signs had been manifesting recently.
Go ahead and interpret this, I mutter.
We kept hearing about the signs
but this was my first sighting. The app seemed
unable or unwilling to deliver a clear translation.
So I took a picture which I could study
if I ever got home. Once I got home.
