Nothing saddest me more as a fan of my big stompys

The unfortunate reality
of truly giant robots
is that nearly every material you can imagine
behaves like jelly
at large enough scales

Not if they made with unjellyfunium

Even buildings? Yes mass
dampeners exist specifically
to counter-jiggle because they wobble in the wind

The square-cube law
is one of the real Buzz Killingtons of physics

Discovered this ages 10 
building truss bridges
out of tape and drinking straws

This is why the truly giant ones
are made from psychic energy

My cat walked across one of my bridges
and I was like holy crap plastic straws
seem stronger than steel for their size

It will be different when we discover
the super space alloy and power it
with the super space energy rays
that will make everything work like I dream

The unfortunate reality
of truly giant robots
is that nearly every material you can imagine
behaves like jelly
at large enough scales

You don't make the giant mega ship,
you make many small ships

That's what my brain says anyways,
but my heart says giant robots are cool

This is why the Magazord uses
five smaller robots to mitigate this effect

Like if you think about it,
planets behave like liquid
over a billion years

This is why we need either
Gundanium alloy OR the Dead Sea Scrolls

I once prefabbed a straight run of 120’ of 4” steel pipe
for a welder. Took 10 guys to get it in the trench.
It bowed like a piece of spaghetti

It's fine just replace the bushings
in the leg joints every 1.4 miles

Time for peanut butter robot

The unfortunate reality
of truly giant robots
is that nearly every material you can imagine
behaves like jelly
at large enough scales

That's why the ultimate giant robot is made
from the energy of Man's indomitable will to live

Failure in your relativistic dynamic compression
members propagates at almost the same speed you can warn of it

But you can build some robots
of unusual size using
monocrystalline diamond

We just need to keep the robots
at human size and shrink all the people

Then why don't mountains flop like an jelly


https://x.com/ashlee3dee/status/2068346914081259783

Corned Beefs

I will sneer at you if you say these things:

To be pacific
For all intensive purposes
Doggy-dog world
Mute point
On tender hooks
Pass mustard
Cold slaw
Damp squid
Old-timer's disease
Off the beat and track
Take it for granite
Takes two to tangle
Chester draws
Wheelbarrel
Dull as dishwater
Old wise tale
Expresso
Escape goat
In one fowl swoop

And I will sneer at you if you write these things:

Baited breath
Bare witness
Tow the line
Illicit a response

But I will congratulate you if you say these thing:

Skellington

My authentic self

I just tell it like it is
I will say boo to a goose
I'll upset the applecart
I call it refreshing honesty
others say I'm a toxic tart

Like, like if you don't like
my opinion I have others
I'm very much what-you-see-is-what-you-get

My other half gets me
I'm lacking in tact and
deficient in guile while
he's the honey, I am the marmite

We go together like sugar and spite
like rama lama fa fa fa so
I'm far too salty, he's far too nice
but playing nice never won the prize

I paid the cost to be the boss
I know they whisper I'm a jerk
but somebody's got to pull the strings
so pretty please
let's get to fucking work

Father's Day Walk, Wapping Ornamental Canal System

- Look it's the loneliest heron
  add it to your app.

She means Merlin, meanwhile

Oi kids! Look up!
    What.
Put your phones down now and look up.
    Where daddy?
In the flaming tree, look, before-
    What's up there daddy?
It's a heron.
    What's that?
A BIRD! Big bird.

- Did you get it?
- Yes I got it. Let's move on. 

Exolinguistic Incident, 2038

A Chinese businessman clutching a briefcase turns and asks me
if he can walk to The Guardian offices from this stop.
He has some important papers to deliver.
And it must be done in person. He glances
over his shoulder. I say no sir this is Victoria.
Where does this train terminate?
It stops at King's Cross.
That's not what I asked.
Yes but you could walk from there.

I tire of his questions and fall asleep.
The lack of oxygen down here. And it's
all been so tiring lately don't you find.
With the recent manifestations. The
rumoured disappearances.

I wake in a startle and hop off the tube
two stops past my target. I half
recognise the streets and feel confident
if I keep walking I can find my way home.
It's not dark yet but it's not light either.
A gentle rain begins to fall.
A bonfire aroma in the autumn evening.
A sign on the bridge up ahead.

Closer: it's a wooden, domino shaped, pulsing and
patterned artefact which emits a hum or drone.
They say the pulses and hums are trying to tell us something.
I have a free app on my phone for just such an occasion.
It's called Rankgor don't ask me why.
Such signs had been manifesting recently.
Go ahead and interpret this, I mutter.

We kept hearing about the signs
but this was my first sighting. The app seemed
unable or unwilling to deliver a clear translation.
So I took a picture which I could study
if I ever got home. Once I got home.

Inbox, 2001

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When I walked to work (2008)

        (i)

being beeped at the first crossing and nearly giving up.
a tweed coated toff atop a horse.
only reaching escape velocity by the zoo.
an imperious wave to the canal.
muttering oaths at motorists,
cheerfully cursing roadworks.
a cloud of hideous stench from
the portable toilet being emptied.
the capital's finest selection of fruit n veg.
setting a new world record of 98 mins.
they have different water on the other side of town.

        (ii)

kick off early, see the breakfast joggers, dog walkers
get a good whiff of that gutter cleaning fluid
inhale as you pass caffe nero
the shins howl for a mile or two, only to be expected
it's possible you have never been as unfit as you are now

curse at pavement cyclists who really deserve
to be booted onto the public highway. you are now
entering a zone of privilege. creatures beamed in
from a different dimension. a blossom shower
is a brief blessing but the sky's moody,
could go either way.

102 mins, no wrong turnings, no delay due to ancient mariner.
'the generative grammar of the legs.'
empty promise to do it more often.