We were 2 goofy fellow's on a walk
mocking the grovers apostrove
we do know where to stick it
striding forth in our welly boots
Yukking it up so far up
our stuffed bras and polo necks
Just 2 nerdy widows on a troll
chuckling about, an oxford comma
without really knowing what
day month or yeeha it was
But we did know, and will never
tell where are husband's our buried
A friend had made her a mix CD
but not listed any of the tracks
I thought this was an act of
criminal negligence
She suggested I put my
so-called expertise to the test
and see what we could find out
The music tbh (which means to be honest)
was a little too goth-leaning for my taste
and I only identified about one in four
tracks. We did Google a few
from the lurcs, which means lyrics
It was honestly one of the best evenings
we spent together. I was in my element
Funny Little Frog - boom!
and I think this is the
Mountain Goats
That sort of thing
I was young and innocent (42)
you do you
yeah you do you
you just do you
dont worry bout me
you do you
yeah you just do you
do you do you do you
yeah you do yeah you do
you think you do
you really think you do
you will do you
you'll do right by you
will you do right by me
or will you do right by you
The so-called day the ding-dong day
I don't know why I have to add that
perhaps to offset the fact that I would never genuinely
say 'back in the day' let's move on
I worked in London's vibrant Soho
and every lunchtime I'd head out to visit all
the record shops not the knocking shops
I don't know why you'd say that
And I'd work out that after rent and living expenses
caveat those were different times (Lou Reed voice)
I may be able to spend let's say max £20 a day
on records (as in vinyls if you must although
I wasn't averse to CDs and certainly in a second hand shop
a cassette could be very worthwhile VFM purchase)
Flicking through the racks
new releases, rereleases, recommendations, bargains
it was all I lived for, all I wanted
I was in my element
I was enraptured, I was
hiding out ooooooooooh
I can see that now I am
a very very mature man
But when Dolly Parton played Glastonbury
in [look up the year] my nemesis co-worker Josephine
who just happened to be my ex-boss couldn't shut up about it
'Yay we're all going to Dollywood!'
'Guys let's all dress up!'
'Who doesn't love a bit of Dolly!'
NAME THREE SONGS
now I wasn't one of those people
- are you sure?
- yes I'm sure
- do you wish you'd never started this
- of course
- would you like to clarify you have nothing against Dolly who has written some great songs and really done a lot for global literacy etc
- yeah sure
- then we can stop this now?
I do have a few more sarcastic observations
about my nemesis co-worker Josephine
- no thank you
I slaughter approx 500 ppl per day
and full disclosure have done so for
the past 100 days YOU DO THA MATH
with handgun, shotgun
assault rifle and sniper gun
choose wisely according to challenge
Sometimes sitting ducks, some-
times PvP battles
also robots (annoying) and zombies (resilient)
And far from turning me into a
drooling psycho NUTBAG, it has been an exercise in
calm and mindfulness
Squeeze the trigger / tap the thumb 💥
See the blood flow, hear the
shots ring out, the bodies fall
take them down TAKE THEM OUT
$25 extra for a headshot
Note to any feds reading, or
absolutely anyone at all reading,
this is known as ironic distancing
