Wednesday Morning 1940

Twirly
say what
too early

What's that hum
a hovering, pitch drone
like one of those red 55s
louder now, peek
through nets - a heli
right o/s my window
at least 15% awake

pll bck, n tme fr vwls
fk thy wnt frm m

Suddenly wide awow
we're not walking hand in hand by the river any more
I promised to send you the picnic pictures
will there be a knock on the door
yes there's the knock on the door

Those kids the
garage kids who're
always squawking
now it's just jim jam
what does that-

The knocks on the door fade
the kids louder fainter yim yam

The fog recedes, I'm up to 40%
VITAM MORTIUS REDDO

Come on man
chant them down
babylon chase them
ancient ones away

Bandages we've known

 I couldn't say I wasn't warned

'I did warn you' she liked to say
with a caveat emptor shrug

Not to stand too close to the fire
least of all to dive headfirst
into the flames

But the time comes in a man's life
when he has a choice to make

Enjoy the fireworks at a safe distance
or douse himself in alcohol and
run around with a burning
rag yelling

'This is what I've been waiting for'

Cleanup Crew

Back in the old rat catching days
we'd pop their heads with our lead shots
send the robodogs out later
bonus payout for every thousand tails

Each busted melon a satisfying pop
each final squeal a delight
a giddy rush of gunfire and mayhem

Not all of us born to it
the dropout rate was high
but I never felt higher
than when the first signal was given

We'd sit around the oil barrels burning
sucking on the rations
faces a fetching blend
of sweat, smoke and juice

Never had much to say but
we knew in our hearts our team was on
the right side of history

Not your C13th destiny

With all this talk of blockades
and the barbican

And amid my spiritual
starvation

I nightnod to daydream
of a silent slink
through the postern gate

Where I'd evaporate
into another life

Take a chance
on the roll of any die

Good morning, my little ones

Jean-Paul Sartre
died or at least news of it
reached me while in the bath after
a weekend in Suffolk
visiting The Otter Trust and some relatives
near Bury St Edmunds
who weren't in.
It was the era of just popping in, just
passing by, incomp-
rehensible now

I was filthy, really
needed that bath. Back then we
took one a week whether we needed
them or not and I always
had the radio on

I had not read him then - still
haven't although I tried La
Nausée once - but knew him as a legendary
ref. slash fig. from my
random teenage reading

And was not yet aware that JP was
tormented by visions of crabs (and lobsters)
everywhere he went
after taking mescaline in 1935
which later inspired
elements of his philosophical writing and plays

They followed him down the street
they sat quietly by his desk
crustacean, hallucination

Until finally he willed them away
because they bored him

Every Man, or Woman, for Himself

We finally
fell out
somewhere between Doncaster and Newcastle
spoiling a 25-year record of sweetness unparalleled,
scarce a cross word
but this fissure was both critical and fiery

The silent boiling and cross-eyed fuming nearly
caused a derailment
we both forgot what the cause was
what was the cause what
caused it it just didn't it just wasn't
I forget exactly what. But

The border had been crossed, and
I made one last foolhardy approach
at a humorous breaking of the
ice: "Ah say, Ah say noo,
we're in bonny Scotland
can ye not extend a haun of kindness noo"

But it acted like a punch to the gut
not even worthy of a withering look

My bad

As they say.

We pulled into Waverley, my
mind reeling, would we need to arrange
separate accommodations etc

And how would we negotiate the
Party Conference, as the
so-called golden couple

I grabbed my suitcase and saw there was a considerable
leap required from train to platform
talk about mind the gap this
was more like a standing
long jump, of which it happened I was
a gold medallist
(Devonian Games 2002) so my 
ability to spring forth, and to
bounce back
would once more be tested

Unbearable, London, Feet, 1996, Mining

Wasny much fun that summer all summer
with ffun and friends at last
kicking a foofbal-l-l-ohhhh Fußball foot
any time you made contact with b-b-ball
o-o-o-hhh owowowow now in your
[five years at least passed] prime
in misc London parks Hyde Holland Green also Clissold
where you saw Kieran the Intimidating
once known from **not now another time**

The thing was your feet spec. to drill
down your toes in part. yr big left TOE
was crossyeed under the hammer of misfortune NAIL

My mother was once also famously it's all
relative under suffrance of the ingrain nail
as I believed it called why are you even
bothering to correct me

'Ooh Lee I got an ingrain toenail' she'd say
while dragging on a Senior Service
'I got to go in hospitals for
three days like Sybil'
yeah also with a wheelchair
it's knot 1975 any more MOTHER

But when I graduated to fellow en-
grained suffrer state it was an afternoon
ride to East Finchley for a poke and scrape
Jamiroquai on the radio and
hopple back the to the station laddy (for free)
in green Converse never the best choice

Anaesthetised up to a reasonable point
I was reading K-Pax can't do that now
- Is K-Pax based on a true story?
- What did the ending of K-Pax mean?
I was listening to Beautiful Freak yeah
so what on my Walkman

Five stops later, sitting in the back room
with a name long since deleted from my memoir
who had a no nail-op patience policy
a stance a pos. I had to respect
it wasn't in the excuse me sympathy fuck zone

So with throbbing afoot beyond a reasonable point
we drank drank rank vodka#
till I forgot I even had legs##
or toes or a body###
OR EVEN YOU COME ON NOW ####

And now those days
+ MY FEET
are long gone