Friday, 26 June 2026

Exolinguistic Incident, 2038

A Chinese man clutching a briefcase turns and asks me
if he can walk to The Guardian offices from here.
He has some important papers to deliver.
And it must be done in person. He looks
over his shoulder. I say no sir this is Victoria.
Where does this train terminate?
It stops at Euston.
That's not what I asked.
Yes but you could walk from there.

I tire of his questions and fall asleep.
The lack of oxygen down here. And it's
all been so tiring lately don't you find.
With the recent manifestations. The
rumoured disappearances.

I wake in a startle and hop off the tube
two stops past my target. I half
recognise the streets and feel confident
if I keep walking I can find my way home.
It's not dark yet but it's not light either.
A gentle rain begins to fall.
An aroma of bonfires in the autumn evening.
A sign on the bridge up ahead.

Closer: it's a wooden, domino shaped, pulsing and
patterned artefact which is also emitting a hum or drone.
They say the pulses and hums are trying to tell us something.
I have a free app on my phone for just such an occasion.
It's called Rankor don't ask me why.
Such signs had been manifesting recently.
Go ahead and interpret this, I mutter.

We kept hearing about the signs
but this was my first sighting. The app seemed
unable or unwilling to deliver a clear translation.
I took a picture which I could study
if I ever got home. Once I got home.





Thursday, 25 June 2026

Inbox, 2001

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Want to have more sex 

Loan Approval Notice

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Warning everything you do on your computer is being logged


When I walked to work (2008)

        (i)

being beeped at the first crossing and nearly giving up.
a tweed coated toff atop a horse.
only reaching escape velocity by the zoo.
an imperious wave to the canal.
muttering oaths at motorists,
cheerfully cursing roadworks.
a cloud of hideous stench from
the portable toilet being emptied.
the capital's finest selection of fruit n veg.
setting a new world record of 98 mins.
they have different water on the other side of town.

        (ii)

kick off early, see the breakfast joggers, dog walkers
get a good whiff of that gutter cleaning fluid
inhale as you pass caffe nero
the shins howl for a mile or two, only to be expected
it's possible you have never been as unfit as you are now

curse at pavement cyclists who really deserve
to be booted onto the public highway. you are now
entering a zone of privilege. creatures beamed in
from a different dimension. a blossom shower
is a brief blessing but the sky's moody,
could go either way.

102 mins, no wrong turnings, no delay due to ancient mariner.
'the generative grammar of the legs.'
empty promise to do it more often.

Wednesday, 24 June 2026

You cannot continue

You have asked for a security code too many times.
You must wait up to 15 minutes before trying again.

But how long must we wait for the change
of the season, a changing of the guard
or a minor change of heart. These are
not the same not the same

You have asked for a security code too many times.
Do not make repeated attempts during this time.

But how long must we wait
How long! How long! You must wait
up to 15 minutes before trying again.

Have you tried another browser?
If you try again now you will be
locked out for another 24 hours.

You have requested too many codes.
You have triggered an automated security cooldown.
You must wait up to 15 minutes before trying again.

But I don't want to wait, I want it now
I want to go now, I must have it now.
I will not wait for 24 hours. Yes I've
cleared cache and cookies

Have you received your 2-Step Verification code?
Have you tried incognito mode?
I am having the exact same issue

Try again! Try again! You must wait
up to 15 minutes before trying again.

You must wait you will wait
Wait! Wait! If you can stand
to wait the moment will pass

All these moments will pass

Monday, 22 June 2026

Confessional

Of course my so-called real name is not
Lee Holloway Towers
I changed it by dead pool
around the turn of the century

After turning up at my new job
trying to fit in, making the small talk
when I'm asked point blank by
the owlish girl
'Do you write poetry?'

What an outrageous question

Of course I denied it as I would surely
have denied the Lord. What kind of a pervert
would admit to being one of those people?

Perhaps someone lacking in shame and pure of heart

Of course she'd googled the new recruit
and found some incriminating results
submissions from the earliest days of the internet

'There must be more than one of me'

A lesson was learned
a new name was gained
a fresh beast was born

Waste transfer notes

significant levels of contamination
it's the taxpayer who foots
no interest in protecting
waste producers, waste brokers
80,000 documents

no intention of complying
after a painstaking trawl
a series of boreholes
falsifying documents
the public purse
waste producers, waste brokers
and 80,000 documents

recover all of his assets
noncompliance with a permit
delve into the paperwork
it was the right result
from Lowestoft to Leeds to Liverpool
it had all the ingredients
waste producers, waste brokers
80,000 documents

provided us with waste transfer notes
convicted the site owner
proximity to the water supply
*the crown court*
to avoid paying landfill tax
thousands of inert sites but
waste producers, waste brokers
and 80,000 documents

in polluting the environment
mounted a thin defence
samples taken by consultant
illegal activity
incriminating evidence
one of the more feeble excuses
hazardous materials
the conditions of the permit
unsuitable, unlined
waste producers, waste brokers
80,000 documents

the cost of building a new reservoir
the outright lying
blinded by greed
*reconstruction*
toxic chemicals
he was turning a tidy profit
eventually, he pleads guilty
+this site is currently closed+

waste producers, waste brokers
80,000 documents
and it's unusual to see
custodial sentences
for environmental offences


Fraud Squad




Car and Girl

I remember when       we were driving
driving in your car      yes we were driving
                                driving in your car
       like this moment now here   
       now    there        could never end

In a blue Ford Mustang 5.0 GT
four speed automatic, Virginia plates
cruise control and everything

We were driving and singing
laughing and riding
just like young lovers
just like real people do

This was before your drinks were spiked
and my face got rearranged