We formed a fonkball team

It was the new thing so we'd heard. We
called ourselves the Free Fasts, our
first game was versus the
Big Luffs. You had to be
called things like that. Those
were the goofiest of times, when
people like me and your mother figure
were still allowed to have childhoods

There was none of the Pocalypso magnitude
of these here nowadays

What were the rules of fonkball?
You know I never really understood, all
I did was stand at the back fence and
stop the oppo with my pellets

Yes they did explode with
great ferocity and some say
it led to the First Outbreak but
that was still the Goofy Era

We have become crinoid

I couldn't pass
the hologram checksum
at the 5th, 7th and 8th
diamond-shaped window
payback for using an AI prompt
on the Broken Ship challenge

Galleons adrift, half-
cocked on the sand
lucky to be a remnant
flying the tarred and tattered
flag of Margate Robbie

Smiling fossils all, known
as Cuddy's beads, unknown
as the shell of your age

£4 coffee

and would I like to leave a tip
before its even made in the city
its alright its alright
laptop clientele plugged in
take your time its not like
legging bros occupy al
fresco seating
yes milk yes, look at
that mini cup no lid to take
away with you, and gone in two
flatwhite lukewarm sips
in the city its alright its alright

Potatoe's

We were 2 goofy fellow's on a walk
mocking the grovers apostrove
we do know where to stick it
striding forth in our welly boots

Yukking it up so far up
our stuffed bras and polo necks

Just 2 nerdy widows on a troll
chuckling about, an oxford comma
without really knowing what
day month or yeeha it was

But we did know, and will never
tell where are husband's our buried

Pre Shazam Era

A friend had made her a mix CD
but not listed any of the tracks
I thought this was an act of
criminal negligence

She suggested I put my
so-called expertise to the test
and see what we could find out

The music tbh (which means to be honest)
was a little too goth-leaning for my taste
and I only identified about one in four
tracks. We did Google a few
from the lurcs, which means lyrics

It was honestly one of the best evenings
we spent together. I was in my element

Funny Little Frog - boom!
and I think this is the
Mountain Goats

That sort of thing
I was young and innocent (42)

Errant Moon

v v v v v v v v v v v v v v
[ wolves cchitme pplyprrigrrrg wind chimes ]
/ \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ /
{ 0010110 }
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
(( GLYPH )) —--—--—--—--—--—--— [ static ]
\ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \
maybe eted regret (hber) i 40medds seodds
/ / / / / / / / / / / / / / / /
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

::: zZzZzZz ::: fractallllL_ [v0id]
( %%%%% ) — alkali — ( %%%%% )

! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !
j-j-j-j-JUXTA-p-p-p-p-POSE
! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !

~~ s p l i t ~~ s p l i t ~~ s p l i t ~~

[ 888 ] k r r r a k l e [ 888 ]

---

{ b l e e d } ———> [ m e t a ] ———> { 0 }

---

q u a n t u m [ ] [ ] [ ] [ ] [ ] [ ]
( h b e r ) ——— ( h b e r ) ——— ( h b e r )

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
{ w i n d } ——— { c h i m e s }
/ / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / /
[ e r r o r ] ——— [ e r r o r ]
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

s e o d d s ———> s e o d d s ———> !

^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^
[ E N D ] v o r t e x [ E N D ]
v v v v v v v v v v v v v v

Thing you love to say

you do you
yeah you do you
you just do you

dont worry bout me
you do you
yeah you just do you

do you do you do you
yeah you do yeah you do
you think you do
you really think you do

you will do you
you'll do right by you
will you do right by me
or will you do right by you

Back in the day

The so-called day the ding-dong day
I don't know why I have to add that
perhaps to offset the fact that I would never genuinely
say 'back in the day' let's move on

I worked in London's vibrant Soho
and every lunchtime I'd head out to visit all
the record shops not the knocking shops
I don't know why you'd say that

And I'd work out that after rent and living expenses
caveat those were different times (Lou Reed voice)
I may be able to spend let's say max £20 a day
on records (as in vinyls if you must although
I wasn't averse to CDs and certainly in a second hand shop
a cassette could be very worthwhile VFM purchase)

Flicking through the racks
new releases, rereleases, recommendations, bargains
it was all I lived for, all I wanted

I was in my element
I was enraptured, I was
hiding out ooooooooooh
I can see that now I am
a very very mature man

Please don't misunderstand me

But when Dolly Parton played Glastonbury
in [look up the year later] my nemesis co-worker Josephine
who just happened to be my ex-boss couldn't shut up about it

'Yay we're all going to Dollywood!'

'Guys let's all dress up!'

'Who doesn't love a bit of Dolly!'

NAME THREE SONGS

now I wasn't one of those people

- are you sure?
- yes I'm sure
- do you wish you'd never started this
- of course
- would you like to clarify you have nothing against Dolly who has written some great songs and really done a lot for global literacy etc
- yeah sure
- then we can stop this now?

I do have a few more sarcastic observations
about my nemesis co-worker Josephine 

- no thank you

Guttersnipe

I slaughter approx 500 ppl per day
and full disclosure have done so for
the past 100 days YOU DO THA MATH
with handgun, shotgun
assault rifle and sniper gun
choose wisely according to challenge

Sometimes sitting ducks, some-
times PvP battles
also robots (annoying) and zombies (resilient)

And far from turning me into a
drooling psycho NUTBAG, it has been an exercise in
calm and mindfulness

Squeeze the trigger / tap the thumb 💥

See the blood flow, hear the
shots ring out, the bodies fall
take them down TAKE THEM OUT
$25 extra for a headshot

Note to any feds reading, or
absolutely anyone at all reading,
this is known as ironic distancing

He's writing like YouTube comments now

Sitting at the breakfast nook
perched atop uncomfortable leather stools
eating our porridge slash cereal
the windowsill radio tuned to Capital Radio 95.8FM
for me, it was the pre-rock'n'roll era as in,
I wasn't obsessed yet mid 70s & all I had / heard
was low level breakfast radio

And Thursday TOTP on the upstairs portable TV
as it wasn't encouraged on the downstairs big TV
(lack of) volume was certainly an issue plus
no one at school ever talked about music
maybe once a year there was a
did-you-see buzz memorably
Sparks yes Bowie no

Not having an older brother + sister
was also an issue, but
one radio standout was War's Low Rider
every time that came on there was a
glimpse of a different world
if only you could turn it up

Aide-mémoire

Last Sunday morning when
you coughed up a lung
sniffed up a sardine
pooped out a parrot and

Literally fell to the floor
flailing even gibbering
wondering if it was late variant covid

Just for reference
and full disclosure
you'd drunk four cans of Special Brew
the night before
case closed

Conflation

You got up on the horse
now you can get off off the horse
or fall in slow motion off the horse
don't matter much to me, ain't my horse

My indifference causes
an earthquake on Mars
(marsquake)

My mother (briefly) had a 'bosom pal'
Janice was a hairdresser who
lived in a tower block, not like us

She was always on about Crystal Palace
and together they laughed so much thick
as thieves yukking it up

Janice cut my hair and left me to
watch cartoons with orange juice

You climbed up up up upon that horse
now you can come off off off of that horse

Waillee Wednesday, February

Ended up in Southall
listening to Dorothy Carter in the rain
the relentless rain did I mention the rain took a bus
took a wrong turn saw the water tower
the town hall. An ex-colleague lived here
I imagined a dialogue, not unusual but

Fruitless, not even comforting

Remember, at some point, mention
delicious aromas and the vibrancy

Traditional folk, medieval revival,
psychedelic experimentation

In the rain prior, I went to Hayes & Harlington
took three or four wrong turnings there too
this is what we do now
ransack the outskirts on a wet Weds

For free, in yr spare
soakd unto drooned rat and this was the last
time I wore my long-life Berghaus before it
perished, mercifully
in an alien machine

one dry potato

now we are laying some say lying here
moribund and fizzing
now we are itching also scratching
the difference which of the foot slash feet
entering the bunkarts of albania
stop it now ssh it all now
playing cricket in the afterlife

now we are having to rise at 0600 military
with alarum music set for 0607 good reasons
restith cometh you awake afresh its 1212
now you are wearing fat slippers
now you are depositing distracting pee some say piss

now you are noticing the reassuring whoosh of the traffic
but whabout the less assuring whoosh
whine of your own earholes and whither
ist my tinnitus appointment
the clack and squawk of late homecomers, residual
longing for the increasingly rare lonesome train whistle

now take a deep side turn bet if tony and georgia
met you all have a laugh like pub quiz bike ride
sit and moisturize the feet awhile
radio on radio off

entering the caves in devon chislehurst also
the chilly step down into bonespace

aerial geometry field
school rulebook cloud
within cells interlinked

now are we awake now are we drifting no
we cannot be drifting if

Don't @ me

the boy on the bike yells 'Specsavers!'
at me after I cross the road
in front of him (executing my
crossing with great efficiently
in order not to cause him to slow down)

the women in the booth raps
her nails on the glass three times
and beckons me to show my passport
as I started to walk past her window
as she was engrossed in her phone

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