The Office (UK)

A song just came on, a spark
and I thought it's been
40 years since I had that
summer job in that office with the girls

Frank F. Farmer was the boss boss
- what's the F for?
- 'ave a fuckin guess!'

The song could have been Kate Bush,
Billy Idol, Eurthymics, Prince

They all played as I drove my car
back and forth Saturdays too
for the overtime

I was fully tuned in that summer
a hard working student
like never before or again
if I could step back, I'd kiss myself

The permanent girls would chatter all day long
an avalanche of filth. Send the rest of us
the temps in the annexe
out for snacks and coffee and the
chasing of wild geese

And everyone smoked all day long
you have no idea what it was like
back in the day, back in
the ding-dong day

I used the upstairs photocopier for my dissertation
took home liberal amounts of stationery, part
of a long-term pattern of offending I would like
to be taken into consideration

We had a canteen where everything cost nothing
and there were dessert challenges. Once
I guzzled 14 assorted delights and won
nothing but everyone's admiration

It was a benign introduction to decades
of future office life
variously stifling calming suffocating infuriating
once or twice life affirming

My sister's school bully joined the
temp team for the final week
he was a cheerful oaf but I refused
to give him a lift in the rain on
the last Friday much to his bafflement
I know who you are pal

And I just realised
with cheerful nihilism
it's been 40 years

it's been 40 years so hello tall shy Richard who 'the girls' all fancied

it's been 40 years hello Charlotte who thought you were better than all of us, and you probably were

it's been 40 years hello to Mogg my snotty little pal who liked The Fall

it's been 40 years say hi hello furious Fiona who hated both perms and temps

it's been 40 years hello/ goodbye to Claire with the curious hair you were the filthiest of them all