Unexpected Charlie

Are you the unexpected Charlie
will you ambush me in a rowboat
pull the trigger in the car park

Are you the Sebastian call me Seb who will
screen all future calls to the kids
Bethanie 8½ and Haraldur almost fjórir

Do you know more about citrus fruits than me
do you own 39 band t-shirts actually

Are you the unexpected Charlie
will you make me an offer,
would it matter if I refuse

    IS DEMOCRACY EVEN
    IN YOUR VOCABULARY MY GOOD MAN!

The unexpected Charlie lurks -
placid lake, family picnic
Sunday drive, afterwork drinks

    IS BASIC DECENCY EVEN PART 
    OF YOUR CONSTITUENCY SIR!

The unexpected Charlie hangs -
parents evening, pilates class
neighbour's barbecue, STD clinic

Do you have 101 TV channels
are your golf clubs titanium is
your JT the envy of Pinocchio's

Ladies love cool Charlie
as he pulls the trigger and
puts the like of you out of
your much-lauded misery