The end of days, 1999

Your friend C returned from Thailand
as Somerset's biggest Deadhead
a rucksack full of Polaroids and mud
- she can stay in the box room for a while ok?
:: thanks so much guys
   do you want to see my tattoos?

and to show her gratitude she whipped up
a burnt lentil curry :: sorry guys
while yelling at ma and pa on the phone

and invited us to a pop star's party
in a Camden townhouse
:: well she's like the sister of the guy from -----
   I've never heard of them, but she
   knows T who we were at school with,
   remember her, V?

& where we did poppers :: it's a
   really base drug, haha, just a little buzz
we skated along
the corridor in our socks, mock dancing
to Suede or Blur, as you looked on
bemused, and soon you, V, would

head east for your own adventures
followed, inevitably
and some
years
later
by me, G

This one's called Pinworms

Pinworms
obstructing the lumen of appendix
Pinworms
eliciting hypersensitivity reaction
Pinworms
causing clinical picture of acute appendicitis
Pinworms
escaping into the peritoneal cavity
Pinworms
inhabiting the caecum
Pinworms
causing tachycardia, low-grade fever...
Pinworms
leukocytosis, and bandemia
Pinworms
buried in the gut

Pinworms
very rare and affects mostly children
Pinworms
gravid female worms migrate to the anus
Pinworms
a type of helminth
Pinworms
spread through the fecal-oral route
Pinworms
common in places where children are in close contact
Pinworms
Enterobius vermicularis
Pinworms
thin and white
Pinworms
buried in the gut

It is joke

At breakfast on our second morning
I noticed she'd taken the same items as before
from the vast and sumptuous buffet and
perhaps foolishly asked if
she didn't want to try different things

'they've got smoked salmon, and eight types of bread,
honey from their own bees
and there's an egg station!'

she said: 'once I've made my choice I stick with it
it just keeps things simpler'

jokingly: 'I guess the same goes for your men too'

stupid, stupid boy

ladies and gentlemen, that
was my ex-wife

For Jackson Lamb

I Norge, min venn, er fjell så høye,
Med snøkledde topper som stråler i lyse,
Elver som danser, og innsjøer så blå,
Der hunder som deg kan leke og gå.

Du vil snuse i skogen, så dyp og grønn,
Med lukten av trær og jorden i bunn,
Fuglene kvitre, og vinden vil le,
I Norges natur er det frihet å se.

Kaldere vær, men vi kler oss godt,
Med varme jakker, så vi ikke blir blott,
Vi går på turer i sol, regn og snø,
Norge er stedet hvor eventyr vil flø.

Så kom, kjære hund, la oss utforske,
I Norges rike, hvor vi kan ikke forlate,
For hver sti vi går, er en reise så stor,
Der kjærlighet og vennskap alltid består.

Why have you been so gloomy lately?

Start on a positive: several hours of
sunshine around Halloween

Carry on with: general dampness
anticyclonic gloom
an expanding area of moisture
and rain-bearing fronts
sunshine so weak that an unnamed village
is reduced to permanent darkness
a fire cloud of drear hath
settled in and news reports are all
dressed up like the Cure

The jet stream, once so straight and smooth
has been drop kicked with a dirty hoove
and its flow b u c k l e s
    that ribbon of air
    high in the atmosphere
an abrupt jump
a pressure trap

A once in a two hundred and fifty-year event is underway
and it really doesn't care what your name is

Christian driving school

They sent me to Christian driving school
there was a Bible verse equivalent
for every section of the Highway Code
plus a viva voce with the Holy Inquisitor
commonly known as the Emergency Stop

Some *let the record show not me*
claimed this was an intolerable
imposition yet it was tolerated
if you wanted to acquire the new
Evangelical Driving Licence and
qualify for the Fast Lane to the Big Show

It's coming, don't ask where don't ask when
but you'll know when you see it
    for there will be signs,
    yes there will be Signs

To provide examples of the questions
would be a betrayal of confidence, and copyright
at this stage of the mid-tribulation
while the Saints are donning their finery
*we are assured it's a lengthy process*
and the Beginning of Sorrows is barely beginning

Meanwhile there are still
places to go, things to do
of an all-too earthly nature
and we few are privileged to ride
along the King's highway

The day we went to Plovdiv

Didn't we have a lovely time the day we went to Plovdiv
They do like to say it's the oldest living city in all of Europe
Calmer than Sofia but so full of charm, you'll be sure to fall in love
With the wineries, churches, crafts, and the art of Tsanko Lavrenov 

The Seven Hills, the cobbled streets, the Roman Amphitheatre
The Thracians, Romans, Byzantines, Ottomans, and Bulgarians
They've all been here along the years adding to the vibrant history
Did you know it's twinned with Rome, St Petersburg, and Istanbul in Turkey 

Do you recall the thrill of it all as we strode along the Main Street
At more than a mile it might be the longest one you've ever walked down
Then in Central Park we stopped by the lake to eat some nuts and chocolate
Chatting away before we raced to meet our tour guide outside McDonalds

Weren't they a treat, the brightly painted 19th-century mansions
The architecture was a delight, it's a budget-friendly destination
Dramatic scenery, an ancient mosque as well as a ruined fortress
The cute cafés and quaint boutiques, you could stay at the Boris Palace

Didn't we have a lovely time the day we went to Plovdiv
A beautiful day, we shared a bus with some Germans who wouldn't stop talking
On the way back I nibbled some sweets fell asleep reading Sally Rooney
Humming a few of my favourite songs as the wheels went around