The Modernist Imperative

The Chinese women behind the car park adjacent to the office complex
snorkelling in the shallow pool
massaging the ducks or maybe geese it was hard to tell
it's a specialised job and not one for me

My task unasked for was to inscribe verse on the walls
under silent, candlelit conditions
again behind the car park adjacent to the office complex
but in the chalky caves equipped with the finger sticks

The words were once in a sleeptime never to return
not for human consumption and consisting of the true conditions:
celebrity gossip, Black Friday deals and a list of our favorite stars
e.g. Arcturus, Alpha Ceti, Aldebaran - I could go on

Top 20 Albums of 2024

It's true these days I listen to a lot of the sad female artists
and ambient, plus the occasional, old-school rock album.
Anyway here is my top 20 of the year...

1 Helen Crites - Normal Western Technician

2 Upfly - IMPORTANT!

3 Agnes Palmer - Large Suite

4 Texas Association - Navarro Live

5 AD380 - AD380

6 Annie Hendrinks - Grab it now

7 Sam's Club - Your Fave

8 Cristalware - Delete Forever

9 Stress Free Koala - All Night Sleep

10 Felicity Ollivier - Emotional Speaking

11 X-tract Global - The Power of Nomisma

12 Ninnetta Linegar - Greetings from Blossom Heights

13 Pome - Want Many

14 Elle Consultants - dream-charters

15 Kilden - Notifications

16 Southside Lofts - Plain Passion

17 ARISE - 以下の内容でお問い合わせを受付いたしました

18 Patricia Bray - Pull. Deny. Take

19 Endurance - Forward Suspect

20 Nancy Cooper - Someone the Same

Would you like cheese with that?

All this week I have felt 'out of sorts' let me list the symptomps which I spelled wrong: sore throat, persistent tickly cough (esp. at night) Blocked nose but not like a cold, and - oh by the way it's not Covid, I've tested twice - Chronic tiredness + inability to sleep Sporadic misery

Possibly unrelated problems which

I thought I'd mention anyway include

Unbelievably itchy feet

Bad lower back, but I've had these a while now

Also I went blind one night but

I got better (extreme crustiness of eyes)

Finally today, the old tooth infection shows up

Classic side effect

There was going to be a point to this

when I started but I've

lost the thread

- from Voyageur, July 2022

Dumped (by app)

We had played each other on the song guessing app for six years, ever since we were matched up when I visited Iceland in 2016; we both liked Classic Rock and stuck to 70s playlists

For a few weeks this year (2022) I was

"out of sorts" and didn't log in; when

I next opened the app

I saw Haraldur had terminated our six-year

rivalry

I mean, I led him by 520 to 186 games,

he was a bit slow,

but I valued our unspoken international alliance

It stung for a while but my

main concern was that my wife,

whenever I played the game,

always asked me how 'your friend Olaf' was doing

And now I just can't admit that he's

no longer my friend

I am 55 years old

- from Voyageur, July 2022

She said

I'll say this about you, she says about me, in 20 years of marriage I've never heard you use the C-word

This much is true. It's also 'something'. But in the

interest of full disclosure I admit

to having used it in a variety of situations

Examples including: Loss of wifi

Presence of moths

Wearing socks when stepping in wetness

Weather being too hot/ bright/ dark/ cold

Spillages (various)

Misc football results

Public transport upsets (countless)

Work meetings (internal voice only)

Upon hearing the ice cream van

She smiles indulgently. It seems

I am the perfect husband, an award-

winning human being, and not an

absolute c***

- from Voyageur, July 2022

*** I can't do it

^ liar

Yankee Doodle Cunt (alt: The Infectious & Sometimes Annoying Appeal of Ice Cream Truck Music)

Every afternoon around knocking- off time aka have a little sleep time let's be specific 5.30pm as I lay me down for a minor kip, this fucking ice cream van starts up its

Musical signature doodle doodle dood

dood doot doodle doodle doo doot

It comes from NSEW (from my bed

I can track its progress around the roads using 3D

visualisation) and the chance of any brief,

gentle descent into slumber is dealt

a fatal blow

Any tune would destroy me

in this state but this, do you

know the words to this, I mean

look them up, and so it comes to pass

at 6pm every day I Murder the Ice Cream Man

- from Voyageur, July 2022

Reasons why

I haven't written anything today:

The fridge needed defrosting

Bottle of wine 'not going to drink itself'

Need to charge phone (minor)

TiVo 75% full, must spend time

watching/deleting programmes

Note to self: define TiVo for future generations

Plus, you'll obviously remember all

the amazing slash mundane ideas you had today and

write them up later on some loosely

defined (series of) date(s)

And, it's Friday

You'll be on official holiday soon

Also, it won't be any good anyway

You're too old for all of this

For starting all of this business again

- from Voyageur, July 2022