She said

I'll say this about you, she says about me, in 20 years of marriage I've never heard you use the C-word

This much is true. It's also 'something'. But in the

interest of full disclosure I admit

to having used it in a variety of situations

Examples including: Loss of wifi

Presence of moths

Wearing socks when stepping in wetness

Weather being too hot/ bright/ dark/ cold

Spillages (various)

Misc football results

Public transport upsets (countless)

Work meetings (internal voice only)

Upon hearing the ice cream van

She smiles indulgently. It seems

I am the perfect husband, an award-

winning human being, and not an

absolute c***

- from Voyageur, July 2022

*** I can't do it

^ liar