Get up get on the scene give it a rest

I had a definitely not sex tape
it was just a C90 cassette
fucking google it, I can't
do all the work for you

One side was Mazzy Star
the other was the Cowboy Junkies
so carbon date that, in fact
it was 1990

    - Here he goes again
      reminiscing from the rocking chair

Now *sucks a thoughtful tooth*
you youngsters might not preciate
how on the right system
these C90s could auto-reverse
so you didn't have to get up and change
the tape some say cassette
while entertaining
horizontally, or do
I mean vertically, hee hee

    - grandma please make him stop

Not that I'm claiming I was some
sort of 90 minute Casanova slash
Lothario stroke Hoochie Coochie Man
back in the day, oh boy

    - I think it's time for your nap

    - can we unplug him?