Office incident w/ feet

I was working on preparations for FIFA World Cup 2026™
or Operation Camus23 as we're calling it
sitting in my corner surrounded by
a surprising mountain of physical media
considering the modern digital landscape when -

HELLO LEE!
It's my Dutch colleague Annaliese
LOOK AT MY FEET!
She plonks her high heeled plates on my chair
they're covered in plastic and plasters
I GOT PLANTAR FASCIITIS
- I'm sorry to hear
AND BUNIONS!

She looms over me all teeth, leg and loudness
like that doesn't send me crosseyed
tells me her wedding in Eindhoven is in danger
because of strikes and I'm like
sorry but where was my invite anyway

I begin to offer some grisly toe horror of my own
but there's only room for
one podiatric trauma

GONNA LOOK LIKE THE BIGGEST WEDDING CAKE
she means her dress and like,
I didn't even know she had a boyfriend
till last week, I'm missing out
on all the gossip
need to start vaping
or join Insta, whatever you people do when
SAY LEE WOULD YOU LIKE TO COME TO MY
BACHELORETTE PARTY TONITE