So basically today PHP got two critical bugs
that let anyone run code on your server
without even logging in which is bad and then
the details leaked before the patch was even out
which is worse and it works on
WordPress and MediaWiki and Magento and Joomla and Larave
and Censys says like 1.5 million servers are running a version with no fix
so the NSA was like
"take your system offline"
and the FBI was like "take your system offline"
and CISA and the UK and CERT-EU were all like "take your system offline"
and then the Prime Minister of Japan
The actual Prime Minister
posted at 5:55 in the morning telling 48.8 million people
to take their system offline so everyone took their system offline
like the Dutch cybersecurity agency took its own website offline
and the Dutch parliament went offline
and the Port of Rotterdam went offline
and Finland and France and Denmark started pulling government sites
and Wikipedia went down, and http://Archive.org went down
and Asana and GOG and Something Awful went down
and the University of Vienna's webmail went
for some reason and that's just PHP
Because GitLab also dropped a CVSS 10.0
which is the highest score they give out
for a bug that's been there since 2014
so that's every self-hosted GitLab for twelve years
and then LiteLLM 1.107.0 got hijacked and shipped a credential stealer
and a remote access trojan in every single wheel and the Docker images
including latest and you didn't even have to import it
just installing it was enough
and it's the second time this year
and then Railway paused every deployment
on the entire platform because someone got into the environment variables
so now everyone has to rotate every secret they've ever stored there
TiDB Cloud said someone was walking around
inside with stolen credentials
for basically a month
And an extortion group says they took 10.6 terabytes
and Zeabur got breached for the second time in two months
and is just shutting down like the whole company
and Node.js patched remote code execution and a TLS bypass
and CISA says Plex is being actively exploited
and someone took over 300 Tor exit relays to steal SSH passwords
and SafePay ransomware has hit over 600 critical infrastructure orgs
and India's biggest bank filed a data loss incident
and Japan has been in an official
state of emergency in cyberspace since October 9
which honestly explains the 5:55 AM post
Oh and eMudhra a certificate authority
that's issued over 60 million certificates
whose entire job is proving websites are who they say they are
was supposed to be using private keys that are random numbers over a hundred digits long
and one of them was 4 just 4
and the others were like 66 and 237
Anyway it's Wednesday
that let anyone run code on your server
without even logging in which is bad and then
the details leaked before the patch was even out
which is worse and it works on
WordPress and MediaWiki and Magento and Joomla and Larave
and Censys says like 1.5 million servers are running a version with no fix
so the NSA was like
"take your system offline"
and the FBI was like "take your system offline"
and CISA and the UK and CERT-EU were all like "take your system offline"
and then the Prime Minister of Japan
The actual Prime Minister
posted at 5:55 in the morning telling 48.8 million people
to take their system offline so everyone took their system offline
like the Dutch cybersecurity agency took its own website offline
and the Dutch parliament went offline
and the Port of Rotterdam went offline
and Finland and France and Denmark started pulling government sites
and Wikipedia went down, and http://Archive.org went down
and Asana and GOG and Something Awful went down
and the University of Vienna's webmail went
for some reason and that's just PHP
Because GitLab also dropped a CVSS 10.0
which is the highest score they give out
for a bug that's been there since 2014
so that's every self-hosted GitLab for twelve years
and then LiteLLM 1.107.0 got hijacked and shipped a credential stealer
and a remote access trojan in every single wheel and the Docker images
including latest and you didn't even have to import it
just installing it was enough
and it's the second time this year
and then Railway paused every deployment
on the entire platform because someone got into the environment variables
so now everyone has to rotate every secret they've ever stored there
TiDB Cloud said someone was walking around
inside with stolen credentials
for basically a month
And an extortion group says they took 10.6 terabytes
and Zeabur got breached for the second time in two months
and is just shutting down like the whole company
and Node.js patched remote code execution and a TLS bypass
and CISA says Plex is being actively exploited
and someone took over 300 Tor exit relays to steal SSH passwords
and SafePay ransomware has hit over 600 critical infrastructure orgs
and India's biggest bank filed a data loss incident
and Japan has been in an official
state of emergency in cyberspace since October 9
which honestly explains the 5:55 AM post
Oh and eMudhra a certificate authority
that's issued over 60 million certificates
whose entire job is proving websites are who they say they are
was supposed to be using private keys that are random numbers over a hundred digits long
and one of them was 4 just 4
and the others were like 66 and 237
Anyway it's Wednesday
https://x.com/fiveoutofnine/status/2113045722744717360
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