This One's Called Dehydration

First thought best thought and I
just thought I'd let you know this life
has all been a dirty and bald-faced lie
a feeble excuse for an existence

What do you mean, I mean
it's been a ceaseless torrent of deception
a bucket and/or buckets of excrement
and a thousand deaths would not suffice
for the denial, and any protestations of innocence
will echo down the decades

This ghastly charade, this pathetic pretence
the disease of being born
I awake a prophet every day, and the
next step is always the best step

Here we are! Here we are again!

Feeling the warmth, feeling the cold
people come, some people go
and my mind is always wondering
how long you are going to stay

Among the sandals and tambourines
the firefly diamonds and
the sudden silence, the big vendetta
and the scene stealing corpse

Night falls, sleep comes, sand
bugs bite my ankles and I still
hope to see your sunburned face when
I open my bonfire encrusted eyes

'I have come to the end of my personality'

You've gone quiet again
a common refrain, complain
you were so much fun yesterday
where's that person gone?

Some times I talk it's not so
hard, some times yak yak too much, some
times not enough chat chat and they
will call you snooty, aloof 

Remember the time I hovered, Christmas eve
of course you don't the snow
was thick on the ground and
the following morning I was catatonic

A'll gie ye a tight 20 any day
efter which the outer lair run
oot ae steam, puff! cuz it's hard to
keep up wi bein me, whoever ye are

Market analysis

  Every month the figures fall

May 2025 (3)

  As you gradually fossilize

April 2025 (10)

  And become diminished

March 2025 (16)

  So the clearer it gets

February 2025 (19)

  The dimmer you seem

January 2025 (31)

  There's less of a glimmer

December 2024 (30)

  And more of a shame

November 2024 (35)

  A sham and a shame

October 2024 (36)

  And the eternal dwindling

A Catalogue Raisonné

It begins with
two old men yelling at each other
continues with
two old men talking about being poor

Two old men rapping - these #elderly 
    grandpas keep killing it
two old men sitting on a bench joke
    how we've chuckled with tears
two old men eating soup meaning
    bitterness, depression, and deafness

Two old men fishing just fishing
two old men dancing to bye bye bye
two old men go on a pilgrimage to worship God at Jerusalem

Two old men golfing just golfing, next up
two old guys note not men and they're getting in a Jeep®
    these are not my dreams
    I cannot be held responsible

Two old men may be in rocking chairs
two old men may be in wheelchairs
two old men hiking the Appalachian Trail
but two old mens skanking to Bad Manners is
    delightful and disgusting in the manner of
    two old mens everywhere, I'm afraid

Two elderly men leave judges speechless with their dance
yes, we've covered that, but
why has my husband turned into a grumpy old man

And we really need to see more of
two old men and their tools
probably delivering exceptional plank flooring installation
two old guys relaxing on a bench
sharing a joke and recalling the good old days
wholesome memes please

Two old men bump heads at the mausoleum (TOMB)
two grumpy old women, not now

Orphanesque

Coming from nowhere certainly
not the Matoran Universe or the
technologically and spiritually advanced planet Ygam

25% here, 25% there
centimorgans all over the shop

And having no fiercely held positions or
righteous identity policies like
you people with your
passionate intensities, I am reduced
to lower forms of communication such as
70s sarcasm
80s ambivalence
and 90s irony
all recently discredited

Plus a chaotic and unbecoming smattering of memes
an enormous & increasingly obscure
hoard of pop culture references

Thus it becomes increasingly difficult
to form the true connection
and I do want to
so want to commit

The most
colossal
criminal
forgery

Pit Mutagen (invisible, harmless)

Courtesy of the Matoran alphabet
I was briefly sucked into the Bionicle
       the Great Cataclysm
       the Brotherhood of Makuta
       the Great Spirit Robot
you know what I'm talking about

They lived (and loved) in the Bionicle universe
you can't say that, with yr pincers for fingers
yr fangs for hangs
sorry I've been raging on the flake
this golden draw is serious within you hear me

##hire an ass manager now##

Now the Hand didn't last very long
more to the point, also I don't give two
excuse me hoots for this lore, yes
I am generally short in stature, and
my brain is at least partially organic
with a need to recharge once a year,
needless to say I lack the biological
instinct to reproduce

Release the Kanohi Dragon
(I don't know what that means)

##make the sad girls your squad goals##

Massive individual caves
   rock pillows and seaweed three times a day
separated by gates with oceans 
    feel free to use my enchanted coracle
and islands of their own
    that's the last thing I need right now

But what if they offered you sanctuary on the island
of the Energized Protodermis Entity, what then?

And sometimes I wonder, and sometimes my fishtank
hums a disparaging, slimy message
which wisdom (wigdome) lendeth me -

GET OUT now GET OUT while you can
don't let the camouflage system win

##Purity! Creation! Peace! Faith!##