And me here thinking you'd taste like
peaches and apricot
grapefruit at a stretch at least
plum please forgive
my manifest delusions
And freakboy like Imperial
Leather and beef jerky
so manly yes the manliest
silver coins in a cowboy's pocket
sweat like raven's tears before
We grow, with much reluctance
into the realm
of some acceptance
Walking back through Campbell Park
Hailu Mergia in my head
up to the Light Pyramid
5km in my legs // still moving
silver La Tour always in view
Trying to tease out the pangram
from BLNFIOE
before I can begin my day
what could it be?
bellefino - an Italian sherry
lifebone - don't we all need a lifebone
fonebill - alternate spelling
bonefill - an archaelogical process
bonnelife - ancient Scots greeting
boonfile - archaic term for a will
nibbleoff - polite cake eating contest
lionbeef - forbidden meat
beefloin - see above
folbine - I got nothing
come on man
I don't have all day!
(are you sure about that)
grease the brain
cells with
coffee
and then it came to me
~~~~~~~~~
(no spoilers)
and some people say
I have too much
time
on my hands
I started to add midweek runs
to my fitness routine la la la regime
but that week a series of unfortunates which
my legal rep has urged me not to reveal in this or any forum
led to not led to, cause not cause
a four-car pile-up and oddly all of them
were orange not yellow or gold which
you must agree is uncanny or merely symbolic
It was an exhausting incident, and
I will ever jog along jong jong
jog along jong jong
a glong glong gong
down down down along along long
Into the
middle
of the
road again
Head held high full of unearned confidence
I went back to work, grids and cells
won't fill themselves
I was assigned to the cricket desk
the new series was played in dense and uneven woods
posing a novel challenge for batter, bowler,
umpire and spectator alike
tree hazards, low light, a muddy wocket
yes we renamed it a wocket I didn't just mistype
In retrospect someone must have known
this was a disastrous experiment, and on
returning to the office from the forest
I found the whole operation had been
wound up and closed down
at some point during the second innings
due to lack of funds and interest
My boss shrugged, said they're all robots out there
or do I mean automatons
anyway it means we're no better
and you won't get paid for this
anime is the enemy
weeping in barbecue sauce
happy is way to live ooooooohhhhh
never replay excuse me *reply* with less
a close-up of a mosquito (no thanks)
a scattering of crinoid stems (somehow yes)
your podcast is flying by
eliminate the hey @grok peoples
why don't you ask the trees if they agree
hold your drink, just hold it there
it's Walton not Walter ffs even now
confusing numbness with peace
how do we ever retire to bed now
New Yorker cartoons are the best (worst)
'proper pooping posture' just kill yrself
elephant toothpaste experiment never gets old
make note of pink koshu grapes
///unbelievable discounts///
the steak was unrinsed
unprepared for graphical abstract
sell the forests now #pristine
next thing you're mimicking bird calls
dogs did not evolve for stairs
so much drama on the ocean floor some say bed
2050 soon closer than 2000, yeah
I give you the mausoleum of all hope
trajectory of missile
try to filter out regime filth not pron
& can someone pls turn me OFF
But one vision I could endorse
is the scene early in 28 Days Later
when Jim leaves the hospital and
walks across Westminster Bridge into
a deserted London at sunrise
as Godspeed You Black Emperor play
Finally I'd be the rightful
Emperor of London
raid supermarkets, steal cars
(it's not really stealing any more)
until, as the rest of the film
inevitably points out
You'd have to deal with
the dead
the undead
the rats and
the loneliness
Although I've been preparing
for that
my whole life
F♯ A♯ ∞
I'm not speaking to you. I'm speaking at you
Why don't you use in-vivo magnetic resonance
Auto salvage, and the birds she didn't write
I joyrode a tank across a field in Norfolk
Foaming Wash Bar
Make it better
No pigeonholes please. You define me
Why don't you employ morphometry or
Find out why 'Daddy was Missing'
Why he sat along in the hole, in golden robe
Foaming Wash Bar
Make it behave
His corpus callosum all out of whack
There is a fish tank for their amusement and
Please park car in appropriate space
Your ritts be show. Your ritts be show
Foaming Wash Bar
Make it new
Is the polar vortex reversing, yes
The polar vortex is reversing
You have multiple doctorate degrees
But you still say somefink. A*I*T*A*
Foaming Wash Bar
Make it clear
Ring the Nurse With Wound list up the flagpole
Don't take the piss or you'll get a right panda
And don't even start with the
League of neurotoxic flavours
Foaming Wash Bar
Make it clean
She seemed cross and said
'I've only come back for one reason
and that is to deliver you to the Talbots' house'
just like back in the day
'because they live on a hill
and you can't be trusted
to drive up,
or down, or park
on a hill'
certainly that much had been proven
viz. Dawkins vs Holloway 1988
Yet they had summoned us from the decades past
and so we were duty bound to attend
I said it's good to see you after 15 years dead
I guess you don't get many invocations
She said it's 'invitations' and
'I have had several calls actually
which I'm not at liberty to discuss'
I said please keep your eyes on the road,
as we tore round the old primary school corner
where once we hung out the car windows
singing Carpenters songs
on the last day of our innocence
Now as we have established
we were heading to the Talbots
but moreover to the map-hidden garden
- rope bridge, sunken pool -
which ran behind their house
where I only once visited aged nine
After my first game of Scrabble
in which I played, and some say invented,
the word, perhaps the concept, of ID
just 9 points with triple word score
but which concluded the game
after a heated discussion and dictionary consultation
I may have thought in my naivety I'd played
id as per the contraction for
'I had 'I did' 'I would'
it was my first game ... but more pertinently
we all learned about "the part of the mind
in which innate instinctive impulses
and primary processes are manifest"
And then we played football in the secret garden
- shell grotto, bamboo tunnel -
with me as junior Scrabble champ, and
where we were headed now in her
vintage yellow Mini, special guest resurrection
Roaring into Stafford Hill
where the glamorous Talbots live(d)
pilot dad, boutique owning mum,
guitar wielding older brother, and
Edward call me Ed who
was the coolest little dude in school
But we sped past the Talbots' house
and were drifting towards the kerb
going too fast downhill, I yelled
WAKE UP! MUM, WAKE UP!
and reached for the steering wheel
There's a bench in the park where I
sometimes sit and strip off. I have my reasons
we don't have time for them now
But let it be known I am not a hobo
though I have been called a hobbit
if we could get to the point now please
we all have busy lives, so I've been told
The name engraved on this bench
is Martin Holloway (no relation)
and it pays tribute to his
'courage
generosity
rhythm
& humour'
Which I find touching as I remove
another layer and reflect that I cannot
be said to possess all four of these qualities
- two would be pushing it -
we can't all be Martin Holloway
Could we not at least exchange some crummy
anecdotes about our recent pasts
some poorly recalled bus stop or shop incidents
semi memories of there was this time when
I'll take any half digested subvocal passing thoughts
and an inappropriate and unvoiced yet sincerely held
opinion which you know is safe with me
Throw me a crumb here and I'll toss you
the whole hog utilising my award-winning
(and vigorous) masculine muscles
Instead of flinging it angry apelike
into the webvoid in the form of
incoherent cackhanded freeposts
begging for any minor engagement
Yes and my first mistake upon leaving
was pocketing the coffee pods
bespoke marked covfefe in hilario tribute
made me grin while guzzling the pipe juice
we got a packed agenda son get moving, none
Of this was a coherent defence for my alleged
crimms and minsdemeans, as I wrote on
a Post-it® Note intending to
impersonate a legal pro, fooling nobody
My second mistake, in legal chronology was
staying in a hate to say it BROTHEL
let's not beat about that bush but look now
there was nothing on pluggings.com to
alert an innocent such as me and also,
I never took advantage of the 20% discount
- At this point,
I would advise my client to STFU
I'm not saying he wore a 1980 wig but
Q. is his pipe even alight it seem very thin
you can puff away but I don't see no smoke
telly prop suspich short for suspicion
puffa puffa pocket are you even alive
And someone always lays an egg
man smokes pipe are you kidding
r u SCHMOKIN' like Freddie Starr
(UK ref) thank you, slight detour
+++inappropriate+++alarum+++
Syrup regardless the past was revealed to be
pas de surprise a crockery pot of delusion
before fashion which shoulda stayed before
plus, your unreliable narrator was not immune
but you don't have the itchy pictures
love time heart life eyes feel day mind night things left find long light people soul face pain lost thought good head keep smile inside sun hands place hold hope hand fall man body thing dark leave live beautiful skin tears hear thoughts sky days cold better hard broken going feeling dreams god mine lips best remember deep free true stay years forever knew air moment felt care open sleep happy fear told black dream death blood untitled breath times blue girl sweet call close walk cry hair help sure today white full touch die stars dead turn bed loved wanted red real truth voice morning water kiss forget hurt wrong longer hate wind fire rain arms friends empty beauty waiting friend matter feet stand high side work memories wonder moon earth change room living darkness lies write bad understand sound break word watch start sit person thinking kind rest fingers song door making ground play warm silence sea strong hearts great finally talk falling lie slowly sad speak small perfect set wait fight held leaves soft filled move holding hell
Would you be my shoebox
a sturdy contraption, pleasingly
geometrical and versatile
able to cradle our heavy hearts
and hide all kinds of secrets
I could be your carpet
you can walk all over me
as I protect you from the cold
the unvarnished truth and its splinters
Or I could be your socks and shoes
you can walk around in me all
day all snug and warm at least
until they need replacing
around this time next year
Get the stomps in
shave off your guilty toe
in preparation for what, the final
stretch of your so-called
Accompanied by a playlist of new dad rock tunes
played on old school tech
neither of which terms I endorse - Friendship, Turnstile
Geese, Lifeguard - the new one namers plus
Mannequin Pussy in homage to Steve Carrell's MLC doomer
in The Four Seasons
An upturned Lime bike in the bushes
community orchard, teach you to be so sniffy
the everpresent stank of cabbage enjoyed
al fresco across the generations these days
these days
a flyer for a Yard Sale, how unEnglish
Pass by the crumbly contingent
a bulldog in a wheelchair and look
a jolly hockey mum in a yellow sundress
Since the Chinese takeaway closed
I never lumber down that cobbled alley
The wrought iron livestock railing topper
rebalanced and replaced by a surrogate cross
a bouncing football tempts but I dare not kick
families gathered around the picnic tables
their healthy chatter deliberately drowned
and oh where is my community
Tottenham and Arsenal shirts play together
we must come to some agreement, find
the common ground
On the second lap vary the route
stop by the pet memorial plaques
and the miniature amphitheatre where
I shall perform my mighty works
to an indifferent heckle of pigeons
Scarecrow hood on gym equipment
another quarter on the clockface
a tent in the undergrowth
symptomatic
these days
the paucity of your insights
redundancy of your circular ops
Nearer home
---1---
3--*---2
---4---
6--*---5
---7---
9--*---8
---10---
you have
reached
the end
of your
skip
Our primary consideration now was the growing of peas
for better or worse, we had become a pea-dependant society
'we're all in this pod together'
was a phrase you heard a lot
We transformed our zen garden into an intensive growth zone
much orange peel the secret ingredient was used
the juice dripped down and was rerouted
using a repurposed ballpoint barrel into the gully, I was
only following the Best Pea Practice instructions
At night we stared at the roof of the cave
sucking on our juice capsules, doing our hums
sometimes we sat in the grape harness which
doubled as a swing and not an erotic one
it would be a lie to say those nights flew by
Recently there was an unpleasant incident with
the squirrel, she covered him in tinfoil
and positioned him in the swing, as a not funny
joke, it began to pulse or throb on the seat
its tiny arms twisted in despair, 'look
what you have done you have become
a Fronkensteen' but she just changed
the subject to last week's record-breaking
pea harvest statistics
Good for you
you come from a place
so famous for its blah blah
and home to legend a and hero b
ppl from your place they're like this
they say these words and eat these foods
they're not like those folk
from across the valley, from o'er the hills
who use slightly different words and
eat barely distinguishable muck
Congratulations
you come from a place
a place where we say book not book
a place where we say bath not bath
where we will fight them in the socials
over competing names for baked goods
give yourself a fat old clap
for coming from a place
and staying in that place
hand yourself a 'good job son'
for all your fathers and your forefathers
the tyranny of football shirts
postcodes and vowels
Sometimes we'd arrive at work at the same time
and I'd always be plugged in to my white
headphones, fresh from an mp3 trawl
That morning he caught up with me as
we entered the packed lift 'Hey Lee
what are you listening to today?'
I thought about making something up
but just answered 'Psychedelic Horseshit'
2nd floor
3rd floor
4th floor
and he never asked me again
My sister wants to see him
the boy with the big disease
my mum won't let permit it
not for 1 mill.
Screaming org. Tom is double hooked
Then the rain - the ship - the marathon
the legs up habitat, possibly hobbit
Reverse the ritual
start a new page
'I like my life'
Back to the old house, a flock
through the hospital window
where the goal is night
But the Brazilian million
is now Swiss style
and with a lot of climbing
There's a side slinging double cycle -
and at the front,
a girl in a 3 wheeler
Neil asks why so sad
- he's rumbled
DENY!
Imagine if you were a real person
and you could speak
knowledgeably and confidently
about the ways of man (and woman) ((also +++))
alas you are classif. as zebra newt
a rare and catatropic (sic) category error
this, sorry thus, DISQUALIFIED
Imagine if you were a simpleton
now this we can get behind
so get behind me, don't cut me loose
I'm drifting out to sea here
see also 'Bobbing' a plea bargain
written by Jay C. Flowers, & what's the
C. for? Sailing ships on (borrowed) and
we're so living on a narrow board
of borrowed, wasted, indebted TIME
Sure imagine now you were a real boy
what you know about them anyhow
someone been talking too much
you can't possible know pre-origen
with your miniature eggshell
noggin, what is it with you and eggs
you are infused with gamma technology
in any case flimsy all too easy SHATTERED
We were parallel walking
she asked if I found [famous person] attractive
I sucked a thoughtful tooth (as if)
and said I'm not one to fawn over
minor celebrities
she said fawn I said yes fawn
But if [famous person] was here now
I'd attach myself to her legs and let her
drag me through the mud
like an I don't know what
the metaphor failed me. She said
Like a dangleberry.
I don't know what you mean, and obv.
which is short for obviously
as an alpha male I am not one to submit
to be dragged away anyway and yet
in this instance [famous person] would have to
beat me off, stop it, that's enough now
I mean her magnificent legs which
in this unlikely scenario I have attached myself to
remember
Honestly, I wish I'd never started this
she said me too
and that was that
for the rest
of our walk
A flock of man-eating birds
they infested the woods
creatures of myth yes but
they were real enough
talking about them Stymphalian birds
Hercules drove them away, he rid the region
of these voracious birds
he clashed the krotala (a kind of clapper or
castanet used in religious dances
by groups in ancient Greece)
Athena was credited with an assist
They saw off the bloodthirsty birds
so numerous they destroyed the crops
they were carnivorous too
they lived in a swamp in Στυμφαλία
in present-day, a closed karst basin
located in the north-eastern
part of the Peloponnese
also, most monstrous
Their feathers were sharp, metallic
- are you sure about that?
they could be thrown like arrows
- yes it is a matter of record
Their beaks were bronze
- no word of a lie
their dung was poisonous
- you'd better believe it
They were the size of a crane
they became confused in cork
migrated to a marsh in Arcadia
destroyed the fruit trees
and tormented the townsfolk
talking about them Stymphalian birds
