Dr Stacey arrived, at my bedside, it was the olden days when they still did that
a reassuring presence with stethoscope and nasal hair
a man who begins at the dawn of a new day to swim in the backyard pool of some friends
he poked at my tender lower right side of abdomen (tummy), and swiftly
he twisted his ankle and so does Ned
after 10 seconds he diagnosed appendicitis and nodded at my mother, like
I'd be shocked if he wandered into my back garden, then
we'd better get the lad in for an operation, pronto
But I always blamed the chestnuts, warm chestnuts, while
Michael Rodd examined a dairy invention
my father had strangely brought home the night before, and while
William Woollard was showing a device to improve coal production and miners' health
we'd never tasted this peculiar nut before from the beech family Fagacaeae
at the age of 52, strapping but past-his-prime Lancaster appeared nude
they were sweet, warm, tasty but I was soon transfixed
as we watched The New Seekers with too few glimpses of my secret crush Eve Graham
who had surpassed Miss World 1972 Belinda Green in my demented little so-called heart
Ned is visiting a friend when he notices the abundance of backyard pools that populate their upscale suburb
still scoffing the creamy, dreamy and extremely moreish nutty snack
excited beyond all rationality by Radar Love with the drummer leaping over his kit
and the new Christmas hits we'd never hear the end of
Some pool owners welcomed him, some hated him, and
I'd be shocked if he wandered into my back garden, and
I'm not saying there were parasites in my digestive tract already
pounding on the door of a vacant, run-down home
meanwhile Slade and Wizzard were lighting up my tiny mind, while chestnuts
probably innocent but forever tainted, were
worming their way into my prematurely inflamed heart
A week in hospital followed, a surrealist voyage through time and space
my new best friend was Danny Creamer never to be seen again
even after the time we wrestled on the floor and excuse me
burst each other's stitches, boys will be boys
and the day I returned home I collapsed on the steps in the rain
stayed up late eating ice cream and watching a film with my mother
all meat Burt spends a summer day swimming home via all the pools in his quiet suburban neighborhood
wait for the ending, she kept saying gleefully, don't go to sleep yet
I'd be shocked if he wandered into my back garden
she could never keep schtum about endings, a slice of gossip, or some-
thing personal that really should have remained personal and
by the time he gets to the final pool, things really
have begun to fall apart for poor Ned, and
I don't recall my father's presence post-chestnut
but he was the captain of his soul and that's what counts
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