i will have written a book

 

i am buying a book

 

The rude awakening

Yap yap yappy yap
don't even check the time
what the hell is it now
whose are those dogs and what
shuffle to the window
pull back the nets there's
a crowd gathered beyond my fence where
never a crowd has gathered
dogs are yapping and there's a large
yellow police van there
and a smaller yellow
police car over there
people are milling about
don't even check the time

Suddenly a round of
applause what
the hell is going on
I can't or won't see the
central event, slowly
they mill away and I'm left
without the plot
wide awake in the middle of the night
when I actually have to get up early
with important / not important
TTD which stands for
Things To Do

Phase two: still
awake an hour later
shuffle to the window
the police van's still there
this is not my story
and yet here it is

Not sure how familiar you are

With the Orwell novel Washington
a lesser-known work perhaps which I was reading
by the perimeter fence during exercise hour when
it occurred to me to enact the book's central thesis
its raison d'être bloodline, a demand to 

'Seize life by the scruff of its neck and damn
the consequences for tomorrow
we shall all be dead'
(I'm paraphrasing)

So I used a discarded baseball glove to help me
leap onto the low wall and rip the
already loosened razor wire as far as possible
slip through the gap sustaining
minor to major flesh wounds
balance on the outer precipice
certainly by now alarms ringing
sirens even wailing

What would George have done?
he'd have tiptoed along the wall not glancing down
chanting WAR WAR WAR for the internal courage

Before long the hook came and after that
the electric encouragement to return, but

They really should be thanking
me for identifying a security breach

Back in the 'interview room'
I turn my face to the wall
practice the 48-hour stare

after whisper- chanting war war war

As a dazzle ship of tactic, I begin to plead
a plea for execution
get the first thrust in, another
tip picked up from Washington, demand
your enemy do its worst and
DO IT NOW

My ayurvedic breathing exercises paid off
~ Kill me now, Kill me now, Do your worst ~
I could keep that up for hours

Finally, they became exhausted by
my relentless chanting and
signed the full ACE reprieval form

And I'll be set free any minute now

Cetacean #2

◯~~~◯~~~◯  

↯↯↯↯↯  

∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞  

☼☼☼    lumiere    ☼☼☼  

⊚⊚⊚⊚⊚⊚⊚⊚  

～～～⚫～～～  

⚪────⚪────⚪  

   agua     물     вода  

⚪────⚪────⚪  

∴∴∴∴∴∴  

𓏲𓏲𓏲𓏲𓏲  

canto canto canto  

⧖⧖⧖⧖    ～～～～～    ⧖⧖⧖⧖  

Mondlicht    lumière    lua  

•••••◎•••••  

⊹⊹⊹⊹⊹  

shanti…    pax…    السلام  

⊹⊹⊹⊹⊹  

☼≈☼≈☼≈☼  

↝↝↝↝↝↝  

mare mare mare  

⚫⚫⚫⚫⚫    oceanos    البحر    море  

⇋⇋⇋⇋⇋⇋  

⋰⋱⋰⋱⋰⋱⋰⋱⋰⋱  

dulce agua    aquila    cielo  

～～～☽～～～  

⚪⚪⚪⚪    viva… viva…    ⚪⚪⚪⚪  

⊚⊚⊚⊚⊚⊚⊚⊚  

luz luz lumière  

∮∮∮∮∮∮    sonido    声    voce  

◎◎◎◎◎◎◎  

↬↬↬↬↬↬↬  

mareas     temps     tiempo  

↬↬↬↬↬↬↬  

∴∴∴    Aqua eterna    вечность воды    ∴∴∴  

⚫～～～～～～～⚫  

𓆉𓆉𓆉𓆉𓆉  

Cetacean #1

(°~~~°)    ~~~⚪~~~    (°~~~°)  

⋰⋱⋰⋱    ░░░░░░░░░░    ⋰⋱⋰⋱  

⟡⟡⟡    ⊹⊹⊹⊹    ⟡⟡⟡  

⬡⧖⬡    ～～～◎～～～    ⬡⧖⬡  

⚫◦⚫◦⚫◦    ~~~◯~~~    ⚫◦⚫◦⚫◦  

↝↝↝    ▓▓▓▒▒▒░░░▒▒▒▓▓▓    ↝↝↝  

☼•••☼    •••⊶⊷•••    ☼•••☼  

𓏲𓏲𓏲    ≋≋≋≋≋    𓏲𓏲𓏲  

⋉⋊⋉⋊    ∞∞∞∞∞    ⋉⋊⋉⋊  

⚪────⚪────⚪────⚪  

~°°°~    ◯   ◯   ◯    ~°°°~  

⧖⧖⧖⧖⧖    ⇌⇌⇌⇌    ⧖⧖⧖⧖⧖  

░░░░░    ⬢⬢⬢    ░░░░░  

≋≋≋≋≋    ☾⋆☽    ≋≋≋≋≋  

••◯••◯••    ⊕⊕⊕    ••◯••◯••  

༄༄༄    ～～～⚫～～～    ༄༄༄  

☼~~~~~☼~~~~~☼  

⋰⋱⋰⋱⋰⋱⋰⋱⋰⋱  

⚪⚪⚪    𓆉𓆉𓆉    ⚪⚪⚪  

↬↬↬↬↬↬↬↬  

⟡────⟡────⟡  

⚫⧖⚫⧖⚫  

∴∴∴∴∴    ∞⊹∞⊹∞⊹    ∴∴∴∴∴  

～～～～～⚪～～～～～  

⊚⊚⊚⊚    ⋉⟡⋊    ⊚⊚⊚⊚  

𓏲𓏲𓏲𓏲    ░░░░░    𓏲𓏲𓏲𓏲  

⚫•⚫•⚫•    ◯≈◯≈◯    ⚫•⚫•⚫•  

⇋⇋⇋⇋⇋⇋⇋⇋  

⋉⋊⋉⋊⋉⋊⋉⋊  

◎◎◎◎◎  

～⚪～⚪～⚪～  

↝↝↝↝↝  

⊹⊹⊹⊹⊹⊹⊹  

∮∮∮∮∮∮  

Old man/ at bus stop/ in the rain

Yes I have balanced upon this rock
for 75, 85 years causing
negligible quantities
of soil to shift

Daily I wait patiently
on said surface at these familiar
co-ordinates, yet in my time
I visited 75, 85 territories of
the artificially boundaried surfaces

There was some growing, some striving
scant praying, scarce slaying
and my best claim my final
claim is to have left
no trace #pfft#

Tuesday 4pm: Nervy B Minor

Very very small
A baby toad
A toad
Came up out of the sink
Very very small
A baby toad

🐸 Very, very small
   Baby toad, no bigger than a bean
   Eyes like marbles
   Skin like moss
   Secret phib from inbetween

I've seen a baby once
It was a toad
Yes a baby toad
It was very small
It came out of the sink,
and that made me cry like a baby

😎 Baby toad rescued from road
   Sunglasses for scale
   Tiny toads all around the woodlands this
   Time of year. So cute #shorts

Tiny angry squeaking frog
Tiny squeaking frog
Angry tiny squeaker frog
Tiny tiny angry angry
Squeaking speaking squeaking speaking
Tiny tiny squeaking frog

(muffled) are you all right in there?

✨ Out of the drain
   From pipes that hum and sing
   Through twists of toilet water
   Heralding the spring

Very very small a baby toad
Very very small a baby toad
AI Overview: This is
most likely the Brazilian flea toad

    Can a toad cry?

    What is a lazy toad?

    Could the golden toad still exist?

    Why is toad named toad?

🌱 Very, very small
   A baby toad, so slight so shy
   A toad
   Came up out of the sink—
   Not a croak, not a splash,
   Just the softest plink

Toad belts out his unique rendition of Sia's "Chandelier"
Toad sings "Livin' on a Prayer", buy the Toad album here
Toad takes on "Somewhere Over the Rainbow"
Here's my toad impression of "Not Like Us" by Kendrick Lamar

🌊 So very, very small
   And yet so strangely vast
   A tiny traveller pup
   From the future and the past

Very very small
A baby toad
A toad
Came up out of the sink
Very very small
A baby toad

Blood Moon captivates sky-gazers around the world

I timed my departure to coincide with the
lunar eclipse, but the
eastern horizon wasn't apparent,
in the park, or at the top of the road
my local high points

I scanned the firmament along with
other rando hopefuls but there was
no show to see so
onwards and upwards we went
as wine of a deep red hue
wasn't going to
buy or drink itself

The Last Northern Run

I wasn't convinced I was ready for another marathon
40 years since my last but the training
had been progressing well so I entered
the Last Northern Run and
there was no turning back now

The skies were grey, my shorts were tight
as I set off at a brisk but
sensible pace. Of course
we all knew there were surprises
in store such as the red bridge with
its 25% incline, followed by
the rope climb to the bottom of the pit
where tethered animatronic galadiators (sic)
lay in wait, plus free roaming canines
of the hyena variety
but I wasn't worried about them
dogs had always been my pals

Having navigated those hurdles - and the
actual staked 400m ones - I felt
a surge of adrenaline and stormed on ahead
maybe a little too fast, and for the first time
in all this giddy excitement
looked at my watch to check my pace
- in the running game we call it 'splits' -

Problem was, I'd forgotten to press 'start'
and that must have been about an hour ago
30 minutes to an hour, maybe more

I had lost all sense of time, but
hung on the runners in front of me
as we swung across the river on a pole
my Fierljeppen was on point

Water station, gel stop, bag of nuts
I was huffing and heaving, turned
the next corner into a suburban street
as the day grew dim, beyond
dim dark even, and I saw no runners
ahead or behind of me

Head back or carry on regardless
obviously the latter, as a pro,
shuffling on singing a song and
an hour maybe two maybe a quarter later

I see some lights up ahead
recognise Leeds city centre on
a Saturday night. A sigh of relief
as I'd partied here once before
91 92 something like that

My legs suddenly so weary
but I say to myself I say
look boy you can ask around and rejoin the official route
later but right now you need a drink and there's
an emergency £20 in my tight shorts so the beers
are on me, I'll just say I finished
the Last Northern Run hours ago
in a PB and the local girls
will find me funny like they used to
and we can party like it's 91 92

So thirsty so sweaty, and it's so dark

I just learned the word Hesychast

So let's go back, let's go
way on back to the 14th century
and let's
experience
some theosis

From rhythm and focus
be ascetic - become mystic
lean into the hēsychia mode
** save me, help me **

And who wouldn't like to reach a
profound inner quietness, a
state beyond concepts and images
** save me, help me **

Through constant purposeful prayer
experiential - quietist
** save me, help me **

The Sayings of the Desert Fathers
do attest to it. Cyril
of Scythopolis knew this

Psychosomatic techniques
are all we have, I mean
we're on Mount Athos and it's 13 hundred
and whatever

Archbishop Gregory
defended its theological underpinnings

Barlaam the Calabrian
had plenty to say

He linked Hesychasm with
Messalianiam and Bogomilism
but I know which side I'm on

If you're living this life
you're living the guard of the mind
and you'd better not proceed
in pride, arrogance or conceit

I'll go into my closet and pray
if you know what I mean
* oh save me, oh help me **

    o h  s a v e  m e

    o h  h e l p  m e

His middle name was DeForest

Humphrey Bogart
Home-Free Bogart
Hungry Bogart
Hum-Free Bog-Art

Humphrey Boat-Guard
Huffy Bogart
Hum-Free Bug Art
Humphrey Beau-Guard

Bump-Free Hogart
Humphrey Blowhard
Humpfry Bogey
Hump-Flea Bogart

Humpy Bouquet
Home-Fry Bogart

The 1988 rabbit

Flash back to the 1988 rabbit
me and flatmate Harriet
found when finally clearing the
overgrown garden
a catastrophic ecosystem unto itself
which our landlady
had demanded we tame or tidy

We'd seen a plea on a local lamppost
'Lost Rabbit Louis' a photocopied photo
like they don't all look the same - no
need for leporine phobia

Harriet exclaimed 'This is Louis, look!'
he seemed happy enough mooching about our
dense bosky thicket
our witchy wigwam atrocity
pink nose of legend atwitch

Harriet cuddled and cupped our
tame discovery and we returned him
to the address on the poster

A little girl opened the door, looked at
rabbit, took rabbit
slammed the door in
our good deed faces
without a word

We joked maybe it wasn't even hers
maybe it was her birthday and
thought we were bringing gifts
from the Rabbit Delivery Society

Then we walked back 'home'. This
fucking garden won't tame or tidy itself

Moderate rain

☁️ Oooh say can you see <of course I can>
the bruised rainbow sky, I've been
half asleep (rude) while she was driving fast
just the way I like it (rude), stop that

M25 or M3 not my problem now listen
the sunlight insists o'er purple clouds yes
this is a world class
rainbow and we've been heading into this since
2012 when we choked
asleep merely

An hour now from
Hampshire / Berkshire blah blah look
like you've got a clue amid this
F1 aquaplaning spray of rushing rubber

    Hi hello how do you BIST
    mein nom ist Hermisch
    travel in aut mobile eins per
    four fear five (fuff) Jahre

    Restricted to quarters
    due to terminal f****cklessness

Rest for moment hobble in cave ja
my head hurts about ow
pibble pobble glücklich - there's
    no passenger seat
in the future for you pal - can we
not bring it back to the ABSE EFFE T

All encom en com, hell wha yy
    excuse me sir-
01100001 01100010 01110011 01100101 01101110 01100011 01100101

∴ absece efftec
urdi ming y- fdnawa
thass tc huoly puolopoo